THE MOST VALUABLE SKILL
A text message came early on in the week. A friend asked: “Which are the most valuable skills to have in life?”
At 33, I have a different relationship with the notion of “success” than I did when I was in my twenties and the world appeared full of potential. In my twenties, I might have answered something like: “Develop a skill, make it as good as you can get it, move to a place where someone values that skill, and then things will likely work out.”
Which, isn’t bad advice. Many a YouTube guru would gladly make a motivational video about it.
Except, I’m skeptical of such advice now, even if it proves practical. I’m older, full of experiences to the contrary, and am aware that the complexities of career success are beyond how talented or hard working one is. Plus, there are years and years of learned behaviors such as poor relationships, recovering from divorce, and social factors like the Covid-19 pandemic and a world increasingly growing pessimistic and fearful from an overexposure to media of every variety.
In short—it’s much harder to pinpoint which advice applies the most when the floor is constantly shifting underneath.
All of this isn’t to say I’ve grown negative or unhopeful. To the contrary, I feel optimistic about my future and everyone else’s. Having said that, I wouldn’t give the usual American “work hard and your dreams will come true” pathos.
So, I took a night and thought about how I would answer my friend. The next morning, this is what I texted back:
“Honestly, I think my official answer is, ‘I don’t know’. At 33, my best guess is critical thinking, some basic reading and writing, and emotional intelligence. Throw in boundary setting as a bonus. By far, I think the best skill ever is to be naturally lucky.”
It’s been a few days since I sent that text. When I reread it now, I shrug. It’s a typical “I’m nearing my mid-thirties and I’m unsure why things aren’t going better” response. Deductively, this exact line of reasoning is likely why my friend asked me his question in the first place.
And after writing this Weekly Post-Ed, I shrug again. Not from my answer, but because I find the question of essential skills less interesting the older I get. I’m sure the constant hustle and clawing for success matters to some, and power to anyone attempting to climb up their respective hierarchical ladders, but I’ve resigned myself to playing the hand I’ve been dealt.
And like the games of solitaire I play at my desk, I hope to get lucky with the next hand or two. It’s not the most inspiring way to play (or even sell this metaphor), but it keeps me playing the next round without expecting so much, which, by the way, is another great skill to have handy.
Maybe I should have said that in my reply to my friend instead. Oops.
I’ll leave it open for all of you: What do you all feel are the best skills to have in life?
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- “Our Wasted Hours” by Clean Cut Kid
- “Northern Lights” by Oliver Harzard
- “Them Jeans” by Joe Hertler and the Rainbow Seekers
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Wishing everyone as well as you can be. You’re not alone out there,
