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Robert Hyma

Robert Hyma

Just a writer doing writerly things.

| Weekly Post-Eds |

WP#76: The Mysterious Case of the Embittered Speedrun Critic

by Robert Hyma July 13, 2024
written by Robert Hyma
Weekly Post-Ed #76 featured image. A font drawn to look wooden logs, over a flat background of pine trees, mountains, and a night sky with stars.

TEN YEARS A VIEWER…

This was my tenth year watching the charity marathon Summer Games Done Quick. The novelty of watching speedrunners is like watching magic for the first time. “You can beat Super Mario Bros. how fast??”

And behold the wizardry of a speedrunner with a NES controller, the run button pressed the entire duration of the game as Mario avoids death pits and chomping piranha plants sprouting from pipes with precision jumps. In the span of a healthy bathroom break, what seemed an impossible game to beat in childhood concludes with King Bowser falling into a lava pit as “Time!” is called.

It’s a staple to watch each year, and I do so out of a childhood love of all things video games and donating to great charities…but I admit that I feel more and more disconnected from the event after each year. What began as a cleared schedule to watch an entire week’s worth of gamers destroy every video game imaginable, I’ve become a bit of an art speedrun snob. I now watch the event an or so at a time, mostly to check out new games that have just released (like the recent Elden Ring DLC) or new speedruns that have yet to debut at the event (like the optimized Super Mario RPG Remake speedrun).

As for the games I found less than enticing to tune in for, I was surprisingly condescending before turning my attention elsewhere:

“Another Super Metroid race? Psht, didn’t they have that last year?”

“OOT again? Well, who’s the featured runner? Ugh, don’t care…”

“Another speedrunner with a couch of commentators spewing pessimism and sarcasm in place of actual humor or interesting commentary? Kill me.”

Meanwhile, I’m consciously aware of the incredible skill required to play these games at such high levels. Learning a speedrun, especially the kinds that are heavy with technical tricks and frame perfect button inputs, takes hundred and thousands of hours to master. The act of beating these games in front of tens of thousands of viewers is objectively impressive. 

So, why was the magic of speedrunning suddenly not enough? Why place the added criticism for a run to be new, technically impressive, AND entertaining to be worth my time?

That’s when I considered every other area of my life that has been upsold to be even “better”.

***

IYKYK

Is it enough to buy a computer? Or, should it be the best computer with the latest chipset and processor and screen?

What about art? Is it enough to be satisfied with the act of making something, or should we constantly compare ourselves, and settle for nothing less than worldwide fame?

What about romantic relationships? Should we settle for the person we’re currently seeing, or is there someone else out there who is even better?

In each scenario, there’s a perceived upsell in value: Having a better version of something—really, anything—must mean it is more valuable/meaningful/beautiful/worthwhile.

Except, what is the criteria for better?

When buying a computer, are the best specs really necessary? I was at the Apple Store recently and asked a Genius worker what the difference in performance was between the M3 Pro and M3 Max chipset in MacBook Pros. If you’ve read that last sentence and are already lost, then you understand the futility of shopping for the best of the best. As the Apple Genius said, “If you’re asking about the difference between the Pro and the Max, you probably don’t need the Max. If you know, then you know.”

Does fame help with making art? Never mind the debate about what constitutes good versus bad art, does volume and accolades really help? I’d argue it doesn’t outside of exposure. Fame is recognition from the outer world, whereas art is an investigation of the inner world. The only crossover is how the outer world impacts the inner world, which is the only impact fame makes when making more art (Again: IFYKYK).

As for relationships, I don’t think there’s a crisis of dubious or manipulative partners out there. No one enters into a romantic relationship with ulterior motives to use and discard someone—they just want something that works for them. The pitfalls of modern dating, in short summation, are in imagining a narrative in which our wants and needs can be theoretically met better by other people. 

In each scenario, we create a story in which we need the better person/inspiration/product. When I think of upselling, I think of skeevy salespeople trying to work a better deal from a customer. However, it’s worth remembering that the skeeviest salesman is, often, ourselves.

So, really: IYKYK.

***

SELF-CORRECTING CRITICISM

The comedian Neal Brennan has a fantastic joke in his Netflix special Crazy Good. He says: 

“In your 20s you’re going to realize you have emotional problems. And then in your 30s you’re going to be like, ‘I’m going to solve my emotional problems.’ And then in your 40s you’re going to be like, ‘It’s a shame I never did solve those emotional problems.’”

I forgot to mention much of my behaving like a critic towards SGDQ 2024 was only at the start of the charity marathon. By the end of the final night, Summer Games Done Quick felt like the Closing Ceremonies of the Olympic Games, comprised of every conceivable walk of life gathered together in celebration. And I was watching with full support.

What changed mind? A memory from watching SGDQ for the first time all those years ago.

I showed a friend a few highlights from the event. My friend is a gamer, too, and we grew up playing Mario and Donkey Kong and all the classics, so I thought his jaw would drop just as mine did after witnessing a speedrun. But after watching Super Mario. Bros. bested in under 10 minutes (a primitive version of the video above) my friend said, “What a waste to spend your life learning a useless skill. No one is going to care that you can beat Mario so fast.”

I was stunned. My friend loved video games; where was this criticism coming from? All these years later, I get it: His inner salesperson made an upsell: “There’s a better way of living life.”

What’s astounding about my friend’s response is the irony: Of course there was value in speedrunning video games; why else would I show him the video if there was none? Clearly, it has worth sharing.

And that’s the real magic trick with anything worth pursuing: True value comes from what is shared with others.

  • The computer is meaningless until we form a relationship with it; that’s why it’s difficult to trade in or throw away a product we’ve used for years (like selling an old car).
  • The artist isn’t successful because of the art—value emerges through the relationship with an audience.
  • Romantic partners are difficult to replace for numerous reasons, but the meaning of the ones we are with exist because of the moments and memories we’ve made with them.

“What’s the point in learning a useless skill?” 

Nothing—only the pleasure gleaned from practicing the skill and the connection it brings to others.

By the finale speedrun of SGDQ 2024, it was impossible to ignore how vast and powerful this community has become when coming together under a common cause. The event has become a sort of gameshow: donation incentives are all about adding content and hours to the event itself, resulting in FOMO—no one wants to miss out on the hot commodity runs gatekept behind high dollar amounts. And this is a good thing! It’s exciting to watch the status bars of added games hit 100% and the cathartic cheer of the live audience cheering, like high schoolers in a gymnasium, “Let’s go Twitch Chat! Let’s go Twitch Chat!”

And by the end of the event, one cannot help but want to be a part of it, too. Even from afar.

Maybe that’s why the marathon raises upwards of 2 million dollars per event. It’s a monetary measurement of togetherness.

***

A banner with a title: Spotify Weekly Finds.
  1. “The Hopeful Kind” by Spuddy
  2. “Every Other Night” by Peter Bjorn and John
  3. “Drastic Measures” by Bayonne

***

Wishing everyone as well as you can be. You’re not alone out there,

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July 13, 2024 0 comments
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| Weekly Post-Eds |

WP#75: Q&A with the Last Neanderthal

by Robert Hyma June 28, 2024
written by Robert Hyma
Weekly Post-Ed #75 featured image. A modernly dressed podcast host sits across a table from a caveman in a spotted loincloth, both with headphones on and speaking into microphones for an interview. Features the title of the post and the date along the walls.

Me: Thanks for joining me for this the Weekly Post-Ed interview. We have a special guest–the last Neanderthal has joined us for a Q&A session about what it was like to go extinct. Before we get started, I thought we’d start with some small talk. Just to warm up. When did you get up this morning?

Neanderthal: Unk Boong bira pocta…

Me: Wait, I think the translation converter isn’t turned on. Could we make sure it’s up and running, please? Ok, great. Mr. Neanderthal, can try that one more time…

Neanderthal: It’s eating my head! Why are you just sitting there?? It’s eating my ears!

Me: Those are headphones. It isn’t alive, or eating you. It’s the reason you can hear me. Take them off and see.

Neanderthal: (Observing headphones) I thought I was falling for the same tricks lions pull on my people. “Just let me lick your face, it could use a washing,” and that’s when they chew it to bits, dirtier than it was before! Not falling for that again…

Me: You can understand lions?

Neanderthal: I am all alone! The voice-man is gone!

Me: You have to put on the headphones again.

Neanderthal: Ok, got it. Sapiens allow mouths on their heads. Very brave.

Me: Do you have a name? What do your people call you?

Neanderthal: I don’t know—they mostly yell.

Me: What do they yell?

Neanderthal: To stay awake during my turn to keep watch at night. Or not to pee so close to the cave. Or, don’t touch Sheila.

Me: Who is Sheila? Someone’s wife?

Neanderthal: Not sure. None are allowed to talk about Sheila or we get beaten with sticks by Nate. He hits hard. But still—worth it because Sheila smiles with yellow teeth.

Me: None of this sounds historically accurate.

Neanderthal: If you don’t believe me, then why did you ask me to do this interview?

Me: Look, I don’t know how to tell you this, but homo sapiens killed your entire species. The whole reason I brought you here is because I don’t know how to process that. How can species want to kill the thing that was closest to them? When I read about the genecide of your species, I felt profoundly sad, like there was a piece of my soul that will never come back. It felt like something tucked away in the fabric of time that will forever be hidden and forgotten.

Neanderthal: Are you ok?

Me: I don’t think so. I’ve been thinking about this for the past week. To me, this prehistoric need to exterminate other human species to be the dominant creature on earth explains so much. Racism, sexism, a continued worshipping of patriarchy and “survival of the fittest”. You don’t know much about modern history, but this need to marginalize anything “different” than what the main tribe ascribes to is constantly punished by homo sapiens. Weak immune systems, cognitive difficulties such as depression and anxiety, and even physical limitations like being handicapped means being pushed aside by society.

Neanderthal: I don’t think I’m qualified to comment on—

Me: No, probably not. But you’re dead. And gone. And there’s no coming back for you.

Neanderthal: So, I don’t exist? I just exist for this pretend Q&A?

Me: Yes.

Neanderthal: Which means I don’t even get to keep the complimentary T-shirt.

Me: There never was one.

Neanderthal: Son of bitch. Ok, since you don’t know what it’s like to be pursued and slaughtered by another of your species, I’m guessing you’re sad for some self-righteous, sulking purpose.

Me: Hey, it’s not that simple—

Neanderthal: It’s not? Who do you feel most sorry for: My species that was killed and buried to the sands of time, or your own feelings on the matter? My people don’t need your pity, or your museums to encase our bones. What could have been done is over with, so what’s the real issue here? I bet you have a hard time processing loss.

Me: (Struggles to answer) Well, maybe…I don’t know…

Neanderthal: Do you think of the dead? Old relationships? Opportunities lost? Lives that might have been lived but haven’t been?

Me: (No answer)

Neanderthal: Survival of the fittest, they say. (Shakes head disapprovingly) I’m not sure my species is missing out on anything if you’re a typical homo sapien. 

Me: Ok, if you’re so wise, how should I feel?

Neanderthal: You’re asking an extinct species for advice? (Laughs) Anything I could say is advice not to follow; my entire species is dead! By definition, anything I could offer would steer you wrong. My only advice is don’t ask those who can no longer give it.

Me: That’s actually pretty profound…

Neanderthal: I don’t have advice. It’s the burden of the living to find a way forward. Living is your problem.

Me: (Nods)

Neanderthal: Get over it. And stop bringing up the dead to solve your stupid problems.

Me: Noted.

Neanderthal: I really don’t get a T-shirt?

Me: I mean, I didn’t have one made or anything. But since this is my imagination, I can send you off with one.

Neanderthal: I accept. I’ve never worn a t-shirt; they look comfortable.

Me: Depends on the brand, but yeah, they are.

Neanderthal: Great. Now, snap a selfie on the magical box and let me be at peace.

***

A banner with a title: Spotify Weekly Finds.
  1. “Breakfast” by Anteros
  2. “Empty Nest” by Silversun Pickups
  3. “801” by Aces

***

Wishing everyone as well as you can be. You’re not alone out there,

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June 28, 2024 0 comments
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| Weekly Post-Eds |

WP#74: The Time Traveler’s Dilemma

by Robert Hyma June 21, 2024
written by Robert Hyma
Weekly Post-Ed #74 featured image. The image features a baseball diamond split down the middle, the left is a peaceful, green park, while the right morphs into a scorching apocalyptic wasteland. A time traveling car is racing near home plate.

TUCKED AWAY IN AN OLD FOLDER…

Going through old college folders is a bit like time travel. I had accumulated half a dozen folders, with four or more unused, stacked atop a pile of papers– excerpts from a past life of college classes and assignments. My task this week was to siphon through anything worth keeping. Each folder was stuffed with a mystery of syllabi, scattered homework assignments, and graded essays. I dumped most of what I found, including notes that were written in pencil (for some reason).

Until I stumbled upon a folder that was noticeably thicker than all the others. Inside was a dense stack of papers stapled together, perhaps 20-pages long. It was a printout of a blog post by David Wong titled:

“6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person”

I had no memory of ever receiving this handout, or what professor could have gone through the misery of printing out a lengthy article and stapling copies for a classroom of 25+ students. In some ways, it felt like a Hogwarts letter delivered by a worn Five Star folder to my future self. Curious about what it took to be a better person, I eagerly read through the article.

The article was largely about what you would expect: a scare-you-straight advice column on how ruthless real life is, replete with such truth-bombs as: “The world only values you for what you offer” and “Stop blaming others when it is clearly your fault that you don’t get off your ass to contribute to society” and, lastly, “No one is coming to save you.”

Here are the “6 Harsh Truths” in case you’re interested:

  1. The World Only Cares About What It Can Get From You
  2. The Hippies Were Wrong
  3. What You Produce Doesn’t Have to Make Money, But It Does Have to Benefit People
  4. You Hate Yourself Because You Don’t Do Anything
  5. What You Are Inside Only Matters Because of What It Makes You Do
  6. Everything Inside You Will Fight Improvement
David Wong’s ‘John Dies at the End’ | image courtesy of Amazon

The writer of the article is David Wong (whose real name is Jason Pargin—an author widely known for his serial novels, including the horror book John Dies at the End). The article was published for Cracked.com on December 17, 2012, which is prime time to talk about New Year’s Resolutions and what—if anything—we gain from planning marginal gains throughout the coming year. Wong’s article is a “wake up call” for what it truly means to gain a new skill or start contributing to the world in a meaningful way…unlike all those other failed New Year’s resolutions.

However, it’s the tone of the article that I found fascinating. Pargin (let’s use the guy’s real name) is writing for a reluctant reader, one that must not be willing to hear about the harsher truths of life. It’s a familiar tone to take with younger generations, perhaps those who fall into the trap of mundane daily lives and seeking instant gratification like an addict.

I’m not trying to belittle the article—I found most of the advice to be worthwhile reading and surprisingly applicable to 2024. It was refreshing to hear a “life isn’t giving handouts” response to those who are looking for lifehacks and shortcuts (myself included, but who isn’t?). 

And yet, I was perplexed by the article for reasons outside of the message. Like I said, this article was handed out to a college class of 18-22 year olds.

So, I pondered this question over the past week: “Who is this advice really for?”

***

MY GUESS: NOT COLLEGE STUDENTS

Supposing the average student in my class at the time was 20-years-old (so, undergrads), the advice of Pargin’s article was aimed at young people by the professor. Clearly, we were all behaving in a certain way to receive such a thick printout. I have no idea which of my former professors might have handed out the article, but I’ve never had a professor younger than their early 40s (besides one adjunct professor who never handed out anything like this article—he loved printing photocopied short stories of obscure Native American writers, mostly).

In short: This handout came from a professor who saw a younger generation lacking the hard-working values of his established peers.

Ok…but so what? It’s a familiar argument, one that has grown tired: “My generation knows the meaning of hard work and yours doesn’t. Muahahaha!”

Yeah yeah yeah: Hard work = better life.

Even if this is true, there’s a subtlety here that’s being passed over: With advice like this, it only makes sense to those who see the contrast. 

My old professor saw a classroom full of underperforming and wandering undergrads that didn’t apply themselves like older generations have (or, presumably, the exceptional of that generation have). Except, the only reason this professor knows the difference in work ethic is because of experience.

Experience that my classmates and I lacked at the time.

So, what is the use of advice that doesn’t resonate with those receiving it?

We’ll call this the Time Traveler’s Dilemma.

***

THE TIME TRAVELER’S DILEMMA

Let’s suppose there was a visitor from the future who witnessed the apocalypse. In this scenario, the apocalypse is an unsexy one—no T-1000 androids slaying humanity from AI superiority. This apocalypse is an unimaginative and long-predicted one: Global Warming has finally decimated the planet into an uninhabitable hellscape. 

This visitor from the future has taken copious notes about what caused the planet to morph into a cosmic EasyBake Oven, and has miraculously escaped certain death in order to warn the past about what can be done about it.

So, the time traveler emerges in the year 2024 to deliver planet-saving instructions.

The good news: Our visitor has all the answers for how to fix the problem, and everyone in 2024 has luckily heard of global warming.

The bad news: No one really knows what it’s like to die horrible deaths in never-ending heatwaves and, thus, doesn’t really care.

It’s a little like dieting: We all know not to eat so much pizza, but is that really going to stop us when a hot and fresh box is planted on the kitchen table? I think not!

So, the visitor from the future says, “Don’t eat that slice…er, don’t keep churning out waste from smokestacks and driving SUVs with terrible mileage. I’ve come from the future, and it’s like the roast your grandmother used to keep in the oven for far too long: Looks like food, but most definitely isn’t! Stop what you’re doing, or we are all doomed!”

Most would nod in agreement—we all know global warning sounds bad. Others would shrug and say it’s fictitious–like a time traveler arriving in the past to relay a message (the irony). And many would pine to know if there was a future season of The Bachelor that features the last attractive humans on earth vying for the grand prize: the last remaining bottle of facial moisturizer.

“Yes, it was the last show ever to remain on television—but how did you know?” the time traveler would reply.

Frustrated, but also relieved to have eaten pizza for the first time since humanity was deep-fried, the time traveler gets back in his ship and ventures to another time…

***

A DAVE PELZER CALLED ‘IT’  

Conveniently, the visitor travels to 2008, my senior year of high school. He walks into a gymnasium assembly with the entire school seated in bleachers. A ratty-looking man in glasses is complaining (for lack of a better word) into a microphone at the center of the basketball court.

“What kills me about your generation,” rants the special guest, “is how much drama there is. There’s drama with everything with you people! Oh, we all get it already! ‘My boyfriend broke up with me and now I can’t study for exams’—boo hoo! You know what I wish I would have known in high school? To just shut up! That’s right—just shut up! Everything that you think is a big deal isn’t. ‘My teacher doesn’t like me’—just shut up!”

Author Dave Pelzer | image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

“Who is this guy?” asks the time traveler, conveniently seated next to me in the gymnasium bleachers.

“Dave Pelzer,” I tell him. “Author of A Child Called It.”

“Called what? Global warming?” The time traveler catches his mistake. “Oh. What’s the book about?”

“I don’t know,” I tell him. “It’s a memoir about this guy as a child getting abused and everyone calls him ‘It’.”

The time traveler listens to Pelzer some more.

“Your Mom didn’t get you that new shirt you wanted? Shut up! Didn’t make the team because you think the coach doesn’t like you? Shut up! The girl you asked out said you need acne medication? Shut up, and maybe wash your face!”

The gymnasium of high schoolers laughs—except for the time traveler and me.

“Does anyone here find it ironic that the guy who wrote a book about childhood trauma and abuse is literally gaslighting an entire gymnasium full of teenagers?” asks the time traveler.

“Right?” I say, glad that someone else finally agrees. “Good thing no one has a gun in here, jeez.”

“Hey, not cool,” says the time traveler. “Might want to steer away from jokes about guns in schools.”

“Why? No one would really do that here.”

“You don’t get school shootings every week in America yet?” asked the time traveler. “Hmm, I guess it is only 2008.”

“Wait, shootings happen EVERY week??”

“Just about—mental health is a major crisis in the future. Probably not a good idea for this guy to diminish the emotional journeys of students just because they don’t act like an aging author who profited off his trauma, and still projects it onto kids who aren’t cognitively developed enough to defend themselves.”

“Wow, that is ironic. What else happens in the future?”

 “Global warming. It kills everyone. Hey, do you want to hear how to fix it?”

“Nah. I’ve seen the Al Gore movie already. I get it.”

The time traveler sighs. “Curse that documentary…Ok, I’m leaving. This Dave Pelzer is a disaster. What’s the best pizza place around here?”

“Fricanos, probably.”

“Thanks, kid,” says the time traveler. There’s a blip, like a catchy text message notification, and the time traveler is gone.

“Wait,” I say out to where he once sat. “What’s gaslighting??”

***

PHILOSOPHY FOR THE T-BALL LEAGUE

If definitive advice mattered, the book would have closed long ago with some of the greatest philosophers of the past. Can I really devise a better plan for living than what Kierkegaard or Nietzsche or Aristotle came up with? Here’s a sampler of some of philosophy’s greatest hits:

“The most common form of despair is not being who you are.” ( Søren Kierkegaard, The Sickness Unto Death)

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” (Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols)

“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” (Albert Camus, The Rebel)

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” (Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics)

And on and on and on, philosophers have rebranded and reinvented what it means to live a good life. The irony is that many philosophers disagreed! The fun of philosophy is in building an argument so precise that it becomes the de facto argument in any given category—a sort of academics’ rap battle through history. No one knows absolutely what it means to be a worthwhile human. Simply being alive is a good start, IMO.

Here’s the thing: As much as I agree with the timeless advice and wisdom of philosopher, I also don’t remember much of it. Think about that: a philosopher’s work is the result of years and lifetimes of constant thought and iteration, devising precise arguments for what it means to contribute to society.

And most of us would fail a multiple-choice philosophy test day to name what a SINGLE philosopher uncovered about human existence.

It isn’t about how right advice is, but what it means to those hearing it. That’s how advice works: It makes all the more sense in hindsight. Handing out a printed blog post to a group of college students that outlines the existential crises of their upper 20s and middle 30s doesn’t register. College students, for better or worse, aren’t even fully cognitively developed. At age 20, I thought I was invulnerable to death, my ideas original and best sellers, and I could eat whatever I wanted without consequence. As life changes, so does application of advice. At 35, my position has changed on all three (except eating what I want without consequence; that’s something I continue to prove despite the evidence of the bathroom scale).

Keep in mind when bemoaning the efforts and values of generations removed from your own that it’s mostly futile: You are speaking a different language to them with your criticisms.

It will all make sense to those generations—eventually. That’s the curse of wisdom: It usually arrives too late, and we are now prepared for a battle long past finished. That’s why we know how to better prepare for job interviews, relationships, move towns, or even what it takes to be a professional sports player when we’re no longer capable of moving without pulling something.

But if the fight should ever come back around, you’d bet we’d kick ass today!

Like crushing a T-ball out of the park as an adult.

“Give me that,” we’d say, fully grown, capable of smashing an oversized baseball to pulp. We’d point our bats to the horizon, like Babe Ruth calling the winning home run in the 1932 World Series. And BAM! We crush the ball, to the utter confusion of parents watching, all of them wondering how an adult found a matching team uniform to play with a bunch of 7-year-olds.

The ball sails through the air, with a tail of blistering debris like a comet’s. “Now, that’s how you do it!” You say to the befuddled kids who sort-of cheer as you start to round the bases…

“He was right. Fricano’s is good pizza,” says a guy sitting on the bleachers, unbothered by the adult T-ball player rounding the bases. “Anyone want a slice before we all die from global warming?”

***

A banner with a title: Spotify Weekly Finds.
  1. “Vintage” by Blu DeTiger
  2. “West Coast” by Junior Empire
  3. “C’mon Be Cool” by fanclubwallet

***

Wishing everyone as well as you can be. You’re not alone out there,

The signature and website logo of Roberthymawrites.com that includes a calligraphic "R" following by a signature.
June 21, 2024 0 comments
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| Weekly Post-Eds |

WP#73: My Journey with Destiny 2

by Robert Hyma June 13, 2024
written by Robert Hyma
A Weekly Post-Ed #73 featured image in the style of Destiny 2's The Final Shape artwork, complete with warped font and the Destiny 2 logo.

BANDWAGON GUARDIAN

To start with: I wasn’t there at the beginning. My journey with Destiny 2 has been entirely sidecar to the diehard fans of the 10-year spanning franchise. What I can offer, however, is perspective about what it feels like to invest in something I wasn’t anticipating falling so madly in love with.

However, just because one knows a lot doesn’t mean one feels qualified to spew information. What’s strange about my relationship with Destiny 2 is how orbital it has been. By that, I mean I’ve delved into the game at a relatively late cycle in the game’s history, played in a way that is slightly more than casual, and have witnessed the finale to the 10-year storyline that concluded this past week with the launch of The Final Shape expansion.

Courtesy of PlayStation

Having completed the newest campaign, I couldn’t help but notice the existential crisis present within the dialogue and themes of The Final Shape. Blame it on writerly intuition, but seldom is a story so separate from the journey of its creators. As David Mamet once said, “The journey of the hero is the journey of the writer.” 

It’s beyond contestation that Bungie hit a home-run with The Final Shape expansion. Reviewers and players alike have heralded it as Bungie at their best. Yet, what fascinates me about the conclusion to one of the most storied franchises in video game history was how it was all possible. The obstacles that our heroes within the game endured ran in parallel with the trials and foibles of the game developer, Bungie. Somehow, the collective efforts of all those involved persevered to deliver a game that asks a very simple question when confronted with a possible imminent end:

What was all of this for?

***

A WORD ABOUT VIDEO GAMES

It’s worth noting why video games differ from novels, movies, and television shows. Stories that are presented to be absorbed and observed primarily draw upon an emotional relationship to the characters and world. Why we love shows like “The Office” or “Game of Thrones” is a matter of intimacy: We know those characters and laugh/cry/love/rage at their failures and triumphs as though they were our own children. We cannot predict the outcomes of what happens, but we stand by and support the thing we’ve fallen madly in love with—logically or not.

Video games, if narratively compelling, abide by the same sort of intimacy, but I argue that the dynamic is more involved, and therefore, interactive. WE get a say in the story because we’re the ones who drive the plot forward. Completion isn’t a matter of watching the cutscenes because there is an aspect of participation in video games that is absent in every other art form.

With video games, the players are not patrons hoping to one day be rewarded for all their investment—they are the progenitors of the game’s fate.

Put simply: Gamers are more like the athletes a sport requires to exist.

In the realm of story, this has a fascinating psychological outcome: The story matters as much as our role in it. All video game stories are fantasy in that we assume the role of the hero. Perhaps that is why there is a relationship that exists beyond the emotional benefits of a fulfilling storyline: We build up the world through farming, crafting, stat-building, and finding community through the rules that govern each gaming world.

In other words, why Destiny 2 has continued beyond the excellence of its deep and lore-driven tale is because of participation by the players.

There was always more on the line than knowing the ending of the story–the journey was worth more than the destination from the start.

***

A BARE BONES EXPLANATION OF THE FINAL SHAPE

“The Final Shape” Cover Art | Image courtesy of Playstation Blog

I’m unsure what the general knowledge base is for Destiny 2 with my readers, so I’ll briefly summarize what the events of this final expansion were:

The big bad guy is a collective of an entire civilization fused into one super being with extraordinary power and armies at its command called “The Witness”.

“The Witness” | image courtesy of The Loadout

The plot follows the big baddie harnessing the power of a silent and godlike planetoid structure called “The Traveler”.

  • It’s a complicated origin story, but essentially The Traveler has settled on different worlds, for thousands of years, offering gifts of superpowers, terraforming planets into hospitable worlds, and advancing technology to create progress at rapid speed for any civilization it blesses.
  • In the story of Destiny, humanity encountered The Traveler in 2014 when a trio of astronauts landed on Mars to investigate the alien sphere hovering above the planet’s surface. This was the beginning of our own golden age (See video above).
“The Traveler” above Earth | Image courtesy of Reddit

Of course, the collective known as “The Witness” was one of the originally blessed alien races of The Traveler. However, and surprisingly, the planetoid abandoned this precursor alien civilization for reasons unknown, and set off across the stars in search of others to bless. The evil “Witness” has been chasing after The Traveler ever since to enact revenge.

“Revenge”, it turns out, is using the powers of The Traveler to selfishly create what it thinks is the perfect universe—a plan called The Final Shape.

Our heroes, having fought against this big baddie for hundreds of years, finally figure out how to defeat It, and conclude a 10-year-long storyline to defeat evil and save the solar system for good.

The entire tale is much more nuanced than this, of course, but basically good guys must defeat bad guys. The Final Shape expansion was the finality of winning the day at last.

But this was only one side of the story.

The rest requires a brief summary of the past year with Bungie, the developer of the game.

***

A PERPENDICULAR DIRECTION

Bungie Studios Logo | Image courtesy of Bungie

The problems mostly stemmed from the previous expansion. Lightfall was a failure on many fronts: The story was lackluster, quality of life changes were minuscule and additive, and this underwhelming expansion came at an inopportune time when a surge of returning players excitedly played Destiny 2 in anticipation of the final clash with “The Witness”.

Promotional cover art of Destiny 2's Lightfall expansion
Destiny 2 “Lightfall” Cover Art | Image courtesy of Reddit

The reviews for Lightfall were dismal and disappointing.

Then, in November of 2023, even more tragedy struck as Bungie laid of approximately 8% of its studio employees across the board. The layoffs came over a weekend and seemingly without notice. The culprit will largely remain unknown, but the recent acquisition by Sony Interactive reviewing the developer’s nosedive numbers from Lightfall was significant in justifying layoffs. 

The outcry from the community was dire. Unlike many game developers, Bungie has a hybrid relationship with its player base—whereas many studios silently watch how players react via social media and meta critic reviews, Bungie recognizes that the lifeblood of the franchise rests on acknowledging and empowering its players. Player feedback via message boards and comment sections, as well as close observance and interaction with the content creation space on YouTube and Twitch.tv play a huge role in informing how the game is received amongst players. When several noteworthy and publicly known employees and community managers were fired in the restructure, morale cascaded downward throughout the entire Destiny community. Like a dark ripple, it felt like the foundations of a beloved franchise were buckling at the finish line. Many abandoned the developer as player population fell to new lows.

By late November, Bungie announced The Final Shape expansion would be delayed until June 2024, leaving the developer five months to recalibrate and earn back the loyalty of its players.

And with so much uncertainty about where the franchise would go—or if it would even continue after The Final Shape—the future appeared bleak.

***

PRISMATIC SOLUTIONS

Is it any wonder that the story of The Final Shape centers on one of the most beloved characters in the franchise, then?

A casual pose of Cayde-6 from Destiny 2, featuring the character learning back against rubble and stretching a revolver in his extended reach.
Cayde-6 | Image courtesy of cbr.com

The cherished and widely missed exo Hunter, Cayde-6, voiced by Nathan Fillion, returned as a miracle to guide our journey to the end. The cavalier character was a fan favorite for its bravado and humor, offering a lightness so often lacking in the bleak universe of Destiny. In many ways, with Cayde-6’s death, the soul of the franchise also perished.

In parallel with the story itself, Bungie inadvertently chose the perfect catalyst character to imbibe a solution to an otherwise prismatic problem:

Can we revive the past to triumphantly guide us forward, just for a while?

A triumphant photo of Destiny 2's Commander Zavala standing in front of a blurry planet backdrop.
Commander Zavala | Image courtesy of shaniverse.fandom.com

This theme of faith being rewarded haunts our fearless military leader in the story as well. Commander Zavala contemplates his devotion to a silent god, one that has refused to help despite all the other miracles afforded by the silent planetoid. In his darkest moments, Zavala flirts with sacrificing himself for the greater good–or at least to end his torment of never resolving a life spent expecting reward for his faith.

It’s a sentiment that I can’t help but wonder if those fired by Bungie’s layoffs felt.

And yet, it is Cayde-6 who reminds us of our brief time in this world. As a character dead and gone for so long, and now revived, Cayde-6 navigates an existential crisis haunting both players and developers: what does one do with second chances?

Or, perhaps, what will you do with one last chance?

Bungie, its writers and leaders, were no doubt pondering the same things in the face of restructure. But in that struggle came an answer. Despite the nosedive, and the bad press, there was still a sliver of choice when faced with the inevitable. In the end, there is only timed agency, a choice, to do with power as our godlike heroes would in the time that is given to them. 

The meaning comes from our own making—such is the privilege and curse of being the consciousness of the cosmos for such a limited time.

Through the darkness, The Final Shape expansion offered a profound meditation, I felt, about purpose at the end of all things.

***

NEW FRONTIERS

I believe in the finality of stories. Stories that press on for season after season often die in the same way that old sitcoms used to: Audiences scatter, novelty is lost, and attention drifts to different types of entertainment that enter the spotlight. This is how things are meant to be. It’s a Darwinian principle of entertainment: “Survival of the Fittest”. Often, this means appreciating what newness was borne from the old.

The story of Destiny 2 will not go on forever. It isn’t meant to. 

But that isn’t the point.

A new vidoc (video documentary) posted by Bungie this week indicates that the story will go on past The Final Shape, which is a relief to many. So much of the past week appeared to indicate the end of the franchise, what with so many somber moments included within the story. New stories are bound to unfold, which will captivate for the coming year or more.

“The Journey Ahead” ViDoc

There is much to be said about the future of the beloved franchise, but all in its time.

For now, despite the forces of “The Witness” and the trials and tribulations from Bungie over the past year, it’s time to celebrate with our heroes—for a brief moment, anyway.

Until the next frontier.

Four heroes sit on a ledge over The Last City in Destiny 2, watching a celebration of floating lanterns drift skywards.
Final Celebration | Image courtesy of TechRaptor

***

A banner with a title: Spotify Weekly Finds.

During the writing of this Weekly Post-Ed, I listened to so many great Destiny 2 tracks. The music in the game is stellar and worth a comprehensive listen. I’ve included four my favorite songs below. Enjoy the score and emotional pull of one of the truly great spanning music sagas in history.

  1. “The Traveler”
  2. “Journey (feat. Kronos Quartet)”
  3. “Remembrance”
  4. “Deep Stone Lullaby”

***

Wishing everyone as well as you can be. You’re not alone out there,

The signature and website logo of Roberthymawrites.com that includes a calligraphic "R" following by a signature.
June 13, 2024 0 comments
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| Weekly Post-Eds |

WP#72 The Show Goes Wrong

by Robert Hyma June 6, 2024
written by Robert Hyma
A featured image for Weekly Post-Ed #72 that shows the velvet curtain of a play, some dangling bats on strings, and the title of the post shrouded in fog.

THE SHOW MUST GO WRONG

The joy of being a former stage actor is spotting when the show goes wrong. I should be clear—I’m entirely nervous for the actors and want them to have a great show, but I can’t help but spot the often minuscule errors and mishaps that happen throughout: someone forgets a cue, a prop is missing, a line is stumbled over or forgotten, the wrong backdrop was lowered from the ceiling. What makes theater so compelling isn’t the “Where’s Waldo” ability to spot errors, but watching what comes after a mistake—how the cast and crew respond to things going wrong.

Because in the theater—as the saying goes—the show must go wrong on.

I know—it sounds condescending to look for all the foibles of a production, but I find the best shows are ones when something does go awry. Don’t believe me? There’s an entire slate of plays written with the premise of performances going wrong:

It’s a strange thing to consider: Why do we find joy when some things go wrong, but are devastated at others times?

***

TWO TYPES OF RATS PEOPLE

Still connected to my recent undergrad superpowers, I researched for possible answers and came upon a fascinating study involving rats and exercise.

Uysal, N., Kiray, M., et al. (2015) conducted an experiment that measured the stress hormone cortisol in rats who voluntarily exercised versus those who were forced to participate. The voluntary exercise group of rats was given access to a running wheel and could choose to use it freely. The involuntary group of rats, however, were limited to a motorized treadmill and were forced to run at the same time as the voluntary group chose to exercise. This gave both groups of rats the same amounts of exercise time, effort, and distance ran.

The results were surprising. The involuntary group of exercising rats showed an increase of cortisol, the stress hormone, after running, while the voluntary rats showed all the benefits of exercise as well as a boost in serotonin—the “feel good” neurotransmitter responsible for decreasing stress, improving sleep, mood, and a myriad of other benefits.

In other words: The same exercise was performed by both groups of rats, but one group thrived while the other suffered.

Exercise isn’t considered “fun” for so many (especially running–which the rats might have felt no matter how appealing the running wheel or type of treadmill), so what was the difference?

One interpretation from this study was the impact of one group’s mindset: If running is seen as a freedom instead of a requirement, the mind views the activity as pleasurable instead of stressful.

Not that any of this is a convincing argument for why anyone should pick up jogging. “If rats can like it, so can you!” isn’t going to convince me to buy an expensive pair of runnings shoes, just as a rat can cooking at a 4-star Michilin restaurant doesn’t inspire me to make ratatouille.

But hey, if you MUST run—you might as well find a way to enjoy it.

***

GO FOG YOURSELF

My favorite performance from the past year was Grand Valley State University’s fall production of “Dracula: A Feminist Revenge Story, Really”. The small Blackbox theater’s production was set in foggy Transylvania, complete with gothic gargoyles and castle doorways.

And an ever-present layer of fog blanketing the stage floor, thanks to a pair of water vapor fog machines stationed behind the seats.

My date and I sat in the back row, in front of one of the fog machines veiled by a thick, velvet curtain. Every ten minutes or so, the timer triggered a whining noise, like a sprinkler sputtering to life before the water eeks out of the nozzle. The fog kicked up a notch when the characters of the play—including the rootin’, tootin’ southern drawl Van Helsing , the vampire hunter, complete in cowboy leather vest, boots, and chaps (for creative purposes, I guess)—traveled to Transylvania.

“Oh,” said my date, who suddenly disappeared in the seat next to me because of a sudden plume of fog. The fog machine behind us malfunctioned and couldn’t turn off, turning the entire production into a miniature scene from Stephen King’s The Mist—except instead of encountering mutated swamp monsters, there were only college actors reciting lines with an overplayed British accent.

The horror.

Then: At the start of the next scene, as the fog rose about the audience, Van Helsing said, “Hey ya’ll, listen up! Dracula might be over yonder! Freeze—I bet you can hear ‘em if you stay reeeaaall quiet!”

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

The fire alarm rang to a deafening shriek.

Per protocol, the audience was asked over the loudspeaker to calmly head towards the EXITS to stand outside until the fire department arrived. It was raining that night, on a cold October evening, so my date and I huddled under the pavilion of a nearby study hall, watching the audience stranded outside the theater doors cover their fancy going-out hairdos from the trickling rain (we were instructed to leave all their belongings in our seats—in case we valued a jacket more than the life of someone next to us, which was entirely possible at GVSU).

After the fire department deemed the culprit a faulty fog machine (which was then severely punished per university policy: being charged full price instead of a student discount), the actors finished the rest of the show after a slight rewind to the previous scene before the fire alarm sounded.

The show wasn’t great. The theater smelled like dry ice. The night was cold and wet. And I questioned whether I knew anything about feminism by the end of the play.

And, yet, I remember thinking on the rain-soaked trek back to the car: Isn’t this great?

***

GO FORGE YOURSELF

The skeptic in me has problems with “just have a more positive outlook!” It doesn’t apply to everything.

Clearly, if circumstances involve war, disease, imprisonment, abuse, or any other life-threatening circumstance—clearly Eric Idol’s sing-songy “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” is meant to be satirical.

Looking on the Bright Side doesn’t make sense for everything.

And yet, it does.

Maybe an asterisk should follow any life story that turns out relatively happy, but it is part of the human journey to find the meaning in the mess of our lives. I’m often struck by Andrew Solomon’s TED Talk about forging meaning. He states, “We can endure great pain if we believe it is purposeful.” 

Oftentimes, the trick of life is in recognizing that the oddities and tragedies we experience have no obligation to make sense. The great fun of the human experience is weaving a narrative that makes it all—for lack of a better word—livable.

So, on a cold and rainy night in October, watching a play as campy as it was cringy about Dracula and feminism, and being shrouded by a fog machine on the fritz—

I had a great time.

The show goes on either way, I figure.

Uysal, N., Kiray, M., Sisman, A., Camsari, U., Gencoglu, C., Baykara, B., Cetinkaya, C., & Aksu, I. (2015). Effects of voluntary and involuntary exercise on cognitive functions, and VEGF and BDNF levels in adolescent rats. Biotechnic & Histochemistry, 90(1), 55–68. https://doi.org/10.3109/10520295.2014.946968

Citation

***

A banner with a title: Spotify Weekly Finds.
  1. “Always Look On the Bright Side of Life” by Monty Python
  2. “I Heard I Had” by Dear Rouge

***

Wishing everyone as well as you can be. You’re not alone out there,

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June 6, 2024 0 comments
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WP#71: Everyone Gets A Trophy

by Robert Hyma May 30, 2024
written by Robert Hyma
Featured image for Weekly Post-Ed #71: Everyone Gets A Trophy. Features a large golden trophy and rows of smaller, golden trophies in the background.

BITS AND PIECES

Let’s lighten things up. The past couple of Weekly Post-Eds have been on the heavier side, and I’m personally in need of some humor. Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve written down bits and pieces of ideas that don’t quite fit into a typical WP, but are amusing nonetheless. What follows are a trio of obtuse observations I’ve scribbled on notepads nearby. Sit back, take a load off, and enjoy!

***

EVERYONE GETS A TROPHY

“Everybody gets a trophy these days.”

I hear this phrase periodically, which is too often. It’s a generational complaint, bemoaning the ease of acquiring trophies—which, apparently is worth complaining about. Usually, this ire is aimed at kids in organized sports who bring home excessive hardware simply for showing up. Rewards, according to this criticism, should only go to those who are EXCEPTIONAL and have EARNED a trophy with hard work and MVP performances.

Showing up doesn’t count.

Although, I’d argue surviving a weekend sports tournament for all involved is worth a participation trophy. From the parents who shuttle kids across state, check into a hotel populated with other screaming kids, buy expensive meals, and race around to team-building activities, knowing full-well work still comes around Monday morning…

Those parents deserve a trophy.

As for the kids: they deserve one, too.  Sometimes, I think about the sheer volume that kids are required to scream at—the minimum decibel just to be heard has gone up at a rate rivaling inflation. It isn’t easy to survive the gauntlet of the social pecking order on a kids’ sports team. 

Trophies might get handed out to anyone participating, but there’s hierarchy of who is deemed cool or cringey by those on the team. 

Will Tommy be cool because he scores the goals? Is he funny? Does his parents turn a blind eye to swear words?

Or will Tommy be the oddball on the team that his parents just wanted to join in order to “gain social skills”. Does Tommy smell? Do the rest of the kids know how much money Tommy’s mom or dad makes? Are his parents still together?

Who cares about athletic achievement—here’s a trophy just for existing in the cesspool of judgmental, twerpy kids. It’s like competing on a reality show EVERYWHERE.

Still, it doesn’t matter: The criticism of kids being handed out trophies is catchy.

“What will these kids learn if they’re handed trophies for everything? How will they handle adversity?”

These trophy gatekeepers are absolutely right. Only heroic deeds deserving enough should be awarded trophies

As it is for adults.

Consider the trophies that adults earn today:

The “I haven’t had fast food in 4 days, so I’m going to treat myself to a Baconator” Trophy.

Or the coveted:

“I’ve worked really hard recently and deserve a new set of golf clubs because my old ones hurt my handicap” Award.

And who can forget the esteemed recognition of:

“It’s the holiday weekend; I don’t have to move from this couch if I don’t want to” Peace Prize

Listen: Trophies are a big deal in the adult world and should be cherished by children.

Just, ignore all the trophies sold at yard sales during the summertime—those don’t count.

***

DID YOU NOTICE ME BEING NICE? WELL—DID YOU??

I stood in line at the cashier of a gas station, waiting to purchase two bags of ice. It was a long wait because I gave my spot away to a woman who thought the line began perpendicular to the rest of us lining up. Surely, she would repay her social stupidity with speeding up her checkout.

No such luck.

I’ve found whenever I give away my spot in line, it’s to someone who has a laundry list of scratch-off lottery tickets to buy. Not just any brand–specific lotto scratch-offs with a specific number of each to purchase, as though the odds of winning relied on some cheat code that tricks the system. My nicety turned into a five minute wait and I felt the misery of summer heat seeping a familiar lesson into my wrinkled brain:

“This is why it doesn’t pay to be nice.”

Behind me, a lanky guy in a muscle top with Jesus Christ Super Star hair down to his shoulders picked up a gas-station branded travel mug, examining the quality (I’m guessing out of boredom while we waited for the lotto ticket lady).

“Going to buy that?” asked a different guy in work khakis and a blue-checkered button-up behind Jesus Christ Super Star. The line had snaked to the back of the gas station, all of us psychically cursing the lotto lady holding up the line.

Jesus Christ Super Star smiled. “I was thinking about buying it.”

“Look at that,” said the guy in khakis, “a smile! You never see that anymore.”

 Jesus Christ Super Star said, “You really don’t. It’s like, why not? Don’t people smile anymore?”

“I smile and say hello to everyone,” said the guy in khakis. “It could brighten someone’s day, you know?”

“I say the same thing,” agreed Jesus Christ Super Star. “You never know what someone is going through. A smile might be the thing they need.”

In the front of me: The pile of lottery tickets. Behind me: Jesus Christ Super Star and khaki guy discussing smiles. Out loud.

This was hell.

“A smile could save someone’s life,” said Khaki guy.

“Seriously man, it could!” said Jesus Christ Super Star.

Mercifully, it was my turn after lotto lady slung her Santa’s sack of lotto tickets over her shoulder and toted out the door. I paid for my bags of ice, speeding to get away from the smile guys.

“Well, keep on smiling man. You’re making the world a better place,” said Jesus Christ Super Star.

“You, too. Thanks for making today better,” said the guy in khakis.

Now, how is possible to hear a conversation about spreading kindness and wish these two guys would get trampled by a parade of bulldozers? Maybe I was just bitter, or tainted with vitriol because I—get this—don’t smile at everyone like Jesus Christ Super Star does.

Then it hit me, why all the talk about smiles was dubious:

“Because being nice doesn’t have to be explained!” I shouted in the car, not smiling (an important detail). “You can be nice without having to explain it like Jesus trying to sell a self-help book! You don’t have to explain obvious shit!”

Which is like explaining any other kind act: “Good thing I held open that door, otherwise it would have closed before you could walk through.”

Being kind is the highest aspiration—just don’t advertise how great it is when doing it.

You don’t get a trophy for that, either.

***

BRUSHING ON THE TOILET

This last segment is about admiration.

While brushing my teeth before heading to bed, I suddenly had to use the toilet. Since I wasn’t finished brushing, I sat on the toilet and did both: Brushing while sitting down. 

Nothing out of the ordinary, except for a sudden realization while brushing back and forth over my bicuspids at the same time as loosening my bowels.

“Huh,” I considered. “That is much more impressive than it looks.”

So, I salute all the hardworking professionals of the porn industry out there. Thanks for making the world a sexier place.

Of which, yes, there are trophies for this also.

***

A banner with a title: Spotify Weekly Finds.
  1. “Shaking the Can” by Peach Fuzz
  2. “It Gets Better” by Jaguar Suns and Husbands
  3. “Stupid Heart” by Kira Isabella

***

Wishing everyone as well as you can be. You’re not alone out there,

May 30, 2024 0 comments
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| Weekly Post-Eds |

WP#70: Is There Too Much Advice?

by Robert Hyma May 22, 2024
written by Robert Hyma
A featured image for Weekly Post-Ed #70 that includes a tunnel with YouTube videos stretching endlessly into the horizon.

A PEDDLER’S PARADISE

Whenever I open YouTube, I immediately close the app and mutter the same sentence, “This place is cancer.” I’ve done this the past two months, again and again closing the app after opening it, disappointed when I seek entertainment and find there isn’t any. That’s because my homepage has been infested with advice videos.

Endless, redundant, droning advice videos:

“3 Ways to Know She’s Cheating Without Having To Talk About It”

“iPad Air vs iPad Pro: Don’t Make This Mistake!”

“This One Trick Will Make You The Best Magician In History”

I don’t know if these are the actual titles of YouTube videos, but they might as well be. Advice videos permeate the content creation space, often disguised as opinions or testimonials. What’s on offer are endless suggestions of things: what to buy, how to behave, who to attract, where to go. YouTube has become a salesman’s dream; a monetized, ad-driven cyberspace that has mutated entertainment into advice and recommendation narratives. It’s a peddler’s paradise, and I’m burnt out from the constant barrage of videos promising fame and riches and love if only I implement this one simple trick…

This Weekly Post-Ed sounds like a rant—and thus far it has been—but I recently found YouTube’s preference for advice videos has led to a nosedive in personal motivation. It’s wonderful that there is so much wisdom on the internet, but the constant beaming of that advice doesn’t inspire more action. In fact, it does the opposite.

So: Has the constant availability of advice and opinion content on the internet today subdued motivation to try things?

***

HOW INFLUENTIAL IS ADVICE, REALLY?

When was the last time you followed any advice? Go ahead and post something in the comments below. I’ll wait.

I’m guessing it took a minute to think about any advice that was followed recently. There’s a reason for this. Advice that is followed occurs during a sweet spot, dependent on when the advice was offered and what the opinion was of those who received it. Sounds complicated, but I’ll break it down.

In a study by Schultze, Thomas, et al. (2015), the authors examined six experiments that measured the influence of advice when given in various circumstances. The authors, expanding on something called Advice Utilization Theory, found that when advice is too similar to the initial opinion of the person asking, it is mostly ignored. Similarly, advice that is too distant from the initial opinion of those seeking advice is also ignored.

For example:

If a meeting is scheduled for 10AM, but a coworker says, “I think the meeting is at 10:05,” you’re more likely to agree with your initial opinion: Why would a meeting take place five minutes later than what you first believed? It’s easy to ignore this suggestion since it is not convincingly different from what you first knew of the meeting, and why not go with something you personally authored?

This same idea applies to advice or opinions that are too distant from our own.

Again, if you believe a work meeting is at 10AM, but a coworker says, “I think they rescheduled the meeting for 4PM this afternoon,” the same amount of skepticism is produced. Why would a 10AM meeting be moved to late afternoon without a good reason? In the face of this opinion, you will likely discard the new information and stick to what you originally believe: The meeting is still at 10AM.

This influence of advice applies to just about anything: How to approach dating apps, which iPad is better, what is the best resort in Mexico City.

There’s one glaring issue I find with how influential advice can be (and perhaps you spotted it, too).

Being influenced by advice does not make it actionable. Or, I’d argue, even useful.

***

EXPERIENCE VS KNOWLEDGE

Lately, I’ve been watching digital illustration videos on YouTube. After one tutorial, a slew of video suggestions will pop up in my feed about how to get better at drawing quickly. So, I’ll click on a video and see what the accomplished artist has to say. There’s little to be surprised about in these testimonials: Draw and keep trying, but don’t draw too much or too little, or even with this method or that, and ultimately you must draw to your own preferences.

And here’s the kicker: I agree with everything they say. How can they be wrong—look at the results of their artwork! Clearly, these artists know what they’re talking about.

So, I log off YouTube, feeling confident about my digital illustration journey, knowing the way forward.

And I don’t draw for the rest of the day.

Why?

The advice was meaningless to me because it wasn’t earned. Just because I agree or disagree doesn’t mean that I’m going to do anything about my current circumstances. As an artist, the only result that matters is what gets on the page or the canvas or the iPad. Without that essential step, what value does advice have if I’m not drawing? There’s often no life hack for the hard work required to produce things.

The problem of too much advice, or access to it, is that we mistake the advice for the experience itself. 

Currently, this the same same issue with Artificial Intelligence. Any answer in the world can be found and easily digested thanks to AI’s ability to summarize complex information quickly. This is the major problem AI creates in classrooms. Within a few seconds, I can have a full summary of Jane Austin’s Pride & Prejudice without having to read it for an essay or quiz. In bullet point format and in simple language, everything about the novel is available. All the information I needed to pass a test I can swiftly memorize and go on my merry way.

Yes. Goody.

But a summary is not the experience of reading the book. Knowing the information without going through the process is often meaningless.

In the case of AI, it’s fine for quick memorization of facts and figures for an upcoming test, but not so much about the things we actually wish to try and get better at.

For example: I can watch video about swimming, knowing how to keep afloat and kick my legs and paddle my arms in theory, but until I get in the pool, everything I know in principle is meaningless when getting in the water.

Therein lies the value of learning something the hard way: Meaning emerges with experience.

***

IT WAS THE BEST OF ADVICE, IT WAS THE WORST OF ADVICE

The best piece of advice I ever received was, at the time, the worst advice ever received.

Shortly after my ex-wife and I separated, and a few months before the marriage was dissolved, there came an awkward period of informing everyone in my social circle of what was happening. A failing marriage isn’t something that comes up lightly; no one is trouncing around, handing out gift bags with neatly-tied ribbons and chocolates announcing, “It’s finally happening! We’re splitting up!”

News of a failing marriage comes up in the least interesting way: In my case, as a correction.

“How’s married life going, Robby?” Someone in the locker room said one night after hockey.

I had played with this same group of guys since I was a teenager. They were all jubilant when I married, happy that I had joined the ranks of the other successfully married men in the room. So, when I came clean about the true state of my marriage, 11 guys were shocked.

And 11 guys looked across the room to Tony—the only other amongst us who had been divorced.

The silence in the room was full of expectation. Surely, Tony would have sage advice from his own trials with divorce to bestow unto this unfortunate and heartsick youth.

Tony, with arms folded, like a poker player bluffing a hand of cards, looked at everyone around the room, and then to me. 

Finally, he said, “I have no advice for you.”

That was it. No further discussion. Maybe there was a comment or two about condolences, but that was all.

At first, I resented Tony’s advice. “I have no advice for you?” Did he say this because he was expected to say something and didn’t want to? Or did he truly not know what to say?

Of course, my hockey pal’s lackluster response only made me seek out all the other advice in the world. I went to therapy and read books, talked with other divorcees, and even became a private detective into the details and behaviors of my ex-wife, stringing together theories for why our marriage fell apart.

All of it proved useless. In the end, there were no answers to satisfy heartbreak and a failed marriage; there was only the journey through.

This was six years ago. After everything I learned and experienced, the only piece of advice I remember was from the locker room that night–Not because I was bitter about what I was told, but because it was the truest advice possible:

There are no life-hacks for going on the journey. The only way to know is to go through it.

I was launched on a perilous and mysterious journey through divorce that was particular to me. No advice was going to ease the process. And, I fought against that reality for many years before finding peace with it. 

Since then, I’ve known and heard of others on their own divorce journeys. And while I’ve read many books on heartbreak and relationships, on loss and grieving—all of it is decoration compared to the truth of what advice actually applies when going through it all. And beyond the essential need to recognize one is truly not alone, the only advice that applies is, cruelly:

“I have no advice for you.”

Simply because: You will find a way if you have to.

With YouTube or without.

Schultze, Thomas, et al. “Effects of Distance between Initial Estimates and Advice on Advice Utilization.” Judgment & Decision Making, vol. 10, no. 2, Mar. 2015, pp. 144–71. EBSCOhost, https://doi.org/10.1017/s1930297500003922.

***

A banner with a title: Spotify Weekly Finds.
  1. “Andrew” by M Field
  2. “The Feeling” by Sammy Rae & The Friends
  3. “Walkman” by Bad Bad Hats

***

Wishing everyone as well as you can be. You’re not alone out there,

May 22, 2024 0 comments
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| Weekly Post-Eds |

WP#69: Trusting Science in the Age of Misinformation

by Robert Hyma May 16, 2024
written by Robert Hyma
A featured image of a laptop with a science journal paper open. Weekly Post-Ed #69 is the title.

YOUR METHODS AND MINE

“You can’t trust scientists—they’re just as corrupt as the news.”

My ex-girlfriend said this on our fourth date. I finished explaining what one of my previous college classes was about, Research Methods. It’s a class that teaches how to search for scientific papers on databases, understand the technical jargon used in papers, and how to identify a good experiment from a poorly conducted one.

She went on: “Scientists fudge results all the time. And if they don’t, then the journals that publish those papers are funded by people who want certain results. Science is all about what people want you to see.”

I sighed when hearing all this, mostly because of the irony. I’m betting she obtained this opinion from—you guessed it—the news, which is usually shared through YouTubers, family members, and social media—the epitome of “what people want you to see”. I doubted she came to this conclusion from reading actual research.

Which, to her credit, isn’t a fair thing to ask anyone to do.

Most scientific papers are not publicly available. Reading research is both a tedious and job-specific pursuit: either you’re in a field that requires keeping up with the latest findings, or you’re a college student with access to freely available databases (if not, it’s costly to subscribe for access). 

Even if there was free access to academic research, it’s unreasonable to expect someone to understand papers because of the way they are written. There’s a specific structure and language that makes sections like a study’s Abstract, Introduction, Methods, Results, and Discussion difficult to understand. These seem like neat, self-explanatory section headings, but each requires a knowledge of how experiments are conducted to analyze procedures and statistical findings. 

Scientific papers are the equivalent of the secret language similarly used by banks and the investment community. The comedian Lewis Black once joked about an economics class he took at Princeton University: “Are you trying to keep this shit a secret?!”

In other words, academic papers are written for the audience who best understands them: Other academics.

That’s why the news is an important communicator of scientific research. Scientific papers are like a temperamental uncle that no one wants to deal with at Thanksgiving, and the news is like that one aunt who acts as a negotiator between the uncle and the rest of the family. Without the aunt, no one would enjoy a peaceful meal of turkey and stuffing without feeling angry about what the uncle’s problem is. Believe me: we’re all grateful for the aunt that makes Thanksgiving work for everyone.

Except, the news isn’t always the best communicator. Sometimes, there’s a disconnect between what scientists and news media companies deems newsworthy. The problem often stems from scientists believing the public wants to hear all the fine details of their work (just read a 20-page study without falling asleep) and news companies finding most research uninteresting or not newsworthy.

Depending on the news company, this leads to some liberties being taken. Some change the details of a scientific paper, even the conclusions, to make sense for a broader audience. This is often done by accident, mostly from misunderstanding the results from a complicated study. Of course, after a story is published with incorrect reporting, the scientific community scrambles to fix the errors (without access to a wide audience), and an icy relationship forms between reporters and scientists who don’t see eye to eye (the uncle and the rest of the family).

Or, more nefariously, a news organization might purposely provide a clickbait title or change the content of a research paper for more views and web traffic.

A headline might run like this:

A newspaper with a headline that reads: It's Official, New Study Proves Dogs Hate People. A golden retriever stares angrily as the featured image.

The study might have been about dogs who are measurably annoyed with their owners over being fed certain types of dog food, which results in a doggy grudge being held for a time, but this isn’t the same as dogs “hating” people. But it’s a much juicier headline to make a blanket statement that dogs, suddenly, hate people.

So, why would my former girlfriend hate on science so much? It seems like news companies share more of the blame when it comes to misinformation. Besides, I was taking a college course at the time that told me how mistaken she was.

The relationship ended long ago, but I haven’t changed my mind about the integrity of scientific journals and research.

The truth is that it’s damned hard to be fraudulent in the scientific community. With publishing, not only is the reputation of the published scientist on the line, but so are the careers of those who are asked to peer-review the paper. It’s a huge risk to publish fake findings.

And then I read a headline this morning from The Wall Street Journal:

“Flood of Fake Science Forces Multiple Journal Closures“

***

CAN’T TRUST SCIENCE

Nidhi Subbaraman’s article in The Wall Street Journal covered the recent influx of fraudulent scientific papers that have spread through the academic publishing world. Like an internet virus, hundreds of submissions flooded scientific publications for the purposes of misinforming from credible news sources. Subbaraman notes the authors of these fictional papers are not scientific researchers fudging the findings of their experiments, but are the work of independently paid writers from paper mills.

The Wall Street Journal's image of scientific studies rolling out like toilet paper and being cut with scissors. Illustrated by Emil Lendof.
Image courtesy of The Wall Street Journal, illustrated by Emil Lendof

Paper mills are freelance groups or individuals that produce content for pay. An advertisement might be posted about a prospective paper with an attractive title (like: The Science of Dogs Hating People) and a paper is then written to that point. The papers are forged as credible by citing established scientists’ and researchers’ work, often to look like a well-researched paper. These papers are convincing enough to survive the submission process of many scientific journals.

The large influx of submitted and published papers has led to the closing of many science journals because of the fraud. Wiley, the company covered in Subbaraman’s article, has lost $35 to $40 million in revenue and will be closing 19 of its journals. Paper mills often target the weakest journals that have less scrutinous publishing standards. A publisher like Wiley owns and operates more than 2,000 journals under its publishing umbrella, which means peer-reviewing is lax in less prominent publications. This allows paper mill submissions to slip past proofreaders, especially if a journal is under-staffed.

This news is discouraging but not unexpected. Every industry has been preyed upon by those seeking a quick dollar (see: the continued attempts to short GameStop’s stock over the past week). However, what’s occurring in the academic publishing world points to a bleak future when it comes to safeguarding historically serious places for scientific writing and discussion. 

My question is this: If the scientific publishing world is becoming more easily exploited, how can we ever let our guard down?

Maybe my ex was right.

***

PEER-REVIEWED PROGRESS

“Where do you get your information then?” I asked my ex on that date. “How do you know when to trust something?”

She paused for a second, shrugged, and said, “You just know it.”

The book cover of Kathryn Schulz's Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of Error

It was at this point that I knew our relationship wouldn’t last. If my psychology background proved useful for anything it was in understanding that our intuitions are anything but accurate. The writer Kathryn Schulz’s book Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of Error is about how even our simplest assumptions are horribly (and often humorously) mistaken.

It’s tempting to rely on intuition in an era of conflicting news sources. I get it: misinformation feels exactly like betrayal—it hurts the same way as finding out that a close friend was lying to you. When betrayal happens, it’s easier to build up walls so that nothing else that’s harmful can get through.

When I think of why my ex-girlfriend—or anyone—actively distrusts science, it’s often about preservation more than protection. Maybe it feels justifiable to shout down or marginalize anything that has harmed us before, but it isn’t a great path forward.

That’s why the response to misinformation cannot be an existential turn inwards to judge the world from a place of safety. To do so is not only impossible but contradictory.

For example, claiming technology and news isn’t to be trusted makes little sense when we cling to devices and online services for every other area of our lives. In other words: We can’t choose to disparage one source for another when they are intrinsically the same.

We all get our news somewhere—who is to say we’re not getting it wrong all the time?

I know—the elephant in the room is how we move forward when it appears we’re being swindled at every turn.

I think the response by Wiley, the publisher in Subbaraman’s article, is a model for how to do so. In the face of a crisis over academic credibility, the publisher began restructuring the submissions program, invested in AI proofreading software to spot signs of recognizable fraudulent content, and conducted audits into the past two years of published papers.

This is what a system working to correct itself looks like. 

The Wall Street Journal story is less about the faultiness of our technological world and is, instead, a tale about science behaving as it is supposed to in the face of new problems.

And that’s the key to living a better life: Learning to identify faulty information and responding wisely next time.

Like when dating someone who doesn’t believe in the credibility of science journals.

You live and learn to choose better the next time around.

***

A graphic featuring the Spotify logo and the text: Weekly Finds
  1. “Treat Ya Better” by The Criticals
  2. “City Lights” by Hall Johnson
  3. “Cameras & Coastlines” by Smallpools

***

Wishing everyone as well as you can be. You’re not alone out there,

The logo and signature for the website roberthymawrites.com
May 16, 2024 0 comments
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| Weekly Post-Eds |

Weekly Post-Ed #68

by Robert Hyma May 8, 2024
written by Robert Hyma

THE WEEK AFTER

It’s been 10 days since I graduated Grand Valley State University with a Bachelor’s degree in English Literature. Where I thought the preceding week would feel like a triumph, it’s felt more like the fallout of a relationship. I’ve been walking around in a stupor, going through a mental checklist that no longer exists. What’s the next upcoming class? The next test? There’s nothing there—just a void of who I used to be just a fortnight ago. Being in college has defined my life for the past 18 months. And now…nothing.

I’m not longer ‘Robert Hyma-in-pursuit-of-his-BA.’

Today, I’m ‘Robert Hyma-Ok-I-have-my-BA-now-what?’

The plan was to immediately transition into a tenacious job-hunt the day after graduation, which has happened. I’ve compiled a newly printed resumé, updated LinkedIn, and have set up profiles on Indeed and ZipRecruitor (as well as GVSU’s Handshake networking system) to begin the journey to finding a career.

The problem, as some of you are spotting immediately, is that this process is coming a tad late in the game. Most of my classmates have filled their summer schedules with unpaid internships (modern day indentured servitude—but with a maybe/sorta reward of a resumé bullet point afterwards). Maybe I resisted this path because I’ve had a sorta/kinda career path before resuming college, but I assumed a degree would grant instant entry into the jobs I was not qualified for previously. I just needed a piece of university stationary that said I was now qualified for a more enticing career.

Right?

Yes and no. The path to any career is mysterious, often defined by a mixture of the type of person, the era, the culture, and valued skillset. Still, stupid is stupid, and I may have made life more tedious than it needed to be by focusing on my studies so intensely.

The real trick of college is to have one foot in and out the door: Excelling in coursework while simultaneously leveraging this achievement into the working world.

And it all sounds like a great plan until reality sets in—college students are merely human beings. I’ve often been amazed by my classmates who have worked menially paying part-time jobs, coming into young adulthood and confronting identity with new groups of people, how to date and find love (if at all), combatting a hyper-aware society forever wired into the age of the internet, prone to constant comparison, success in every aspect of life a requirement for happiness, pride, wealth, and then to somehow find the clarity of a career path that begins IMMEDIATELY after being handed a diploma placeholder at Graduation.

In other words, there’s a strange dissonance with everyone graduating college: “I’m an adult now, why am I not successful yet?”

***

GRAD REBOUNDING

I’m finding it difficult to cut the cord of the past 18 months. Perhaps I’m alone, but the adrenaline of graduation has worn off and now I’m facing a new frontier with new landmarks and people with blurred faces. Everything is new, which is both exciting and terrifying, but it doesn’t discount the old. When I think about graduating college and moving on, it feels like trying to find a rebound after going through a breakup. 

I had this discussion with a classmate the day before graduation took place:

ME: “Are you walking this weekend?”

HER: “No. My boyfriend did last year, and we waited two hours to hear his name. And then he walked across the stage in about four seconds. It’s a huge waste of time. I’m not walking. Are you?”

ME: “Yeah. I’ve never walked before.”

HER: “Good luck. I’m ready to be done with this place. I could care less about walking. I’m ready to move on.”

There it is: “I’m ready to move on.” She’s been emotionally done with college for a while. Most seniors in college are. Attending classes, taking exams—it’s all rote and mechanical procedure in the weeks before graduation. Why can’t life just be all the things we’ve been preparing for?

While I understand this logic, I think it’s important to attend a ceremony at the start and end of things. The Olympics has its Opening and Closing Ceremonies, marriage its wedding and divorce proceedings, and college has its convocation and graduation. There’s something necessary in attending the start and close of a journey.

Most of my classmates were packing in a hurry to get on with “living”. But what has the past four years of college been if not a significant growth spurt? In that time, most students start in their teens, age into young adulthood, experience sex and alcohol on a consistent basis, and somehow develop an independence that is (hopefully) means not returning to the way things were before arriving on campus. Why does living take place only after the journey ends when so much living has taken place the entirety of an undergraduate degree? Blame it on age, but I disagree that college is a ceaselessly tiring and punishing gauntlet that must be endured in order to “get on with life”. In the aftermath of graduation, I think the past ten days have been necessary to process what the hell has taken place.

That’s my clouded and congested conclusion at this juncture: I’ve been lost and adrift not as a reflection of my inability to cope and move on to a new era, but as a meditation about the old one. 

This is what it means to move on in a healthy way.

Just, try not to eat meals with serving sizes befitting a roaming buffalo or binge watch the entirety of Netflix’s “for you” category as a way of numbing out. 

It’s better to feel the listlessness in the aftermath of graduation than run from it. The point is to feel all the things you must right now.

Otherwise, it’s a rebound into something else.

Might as well have applied for internships, then.

***

PARTING KNOWLEDGE

Before my final exams, I made a point to ask my professors what advice they would give their younger selves if they could. More specifically, I asked:

“What do you know now that you didn’t when you were younger?”

Here are two noteworthy responses from my professors:

First Professor:

“I once had a therapist that said, ‘It’s like you’re hauling around an extension ladder’. By that, she meant that I was looking far ahead into the future, while reaching way back into my past. If you’ve ever carried an extension ladder before, you know how awkward it is to walk around with. But that’s how it feels to think so much about the future and constantly dig through the past—there’s no pivoting without knocking into something you didn’t need to.

“So, I asked the therapist, ‘What do I do about the ladder?’ and she said, ‘Carry a smaller one.’ Since then, I understood how unimportant it was to worry about the future and the past. None of that defines you. What matters is keeping versatile in the present. That’s where everything is happening anyways. And with a smaller ladder, you can still get up and down when you need to, just with manageable heights. It’s much more useful, I’ve found.”

Second Professor:

“I once took such pride in being introverted, until I realized it was largely an excuse to protect myself. I loved to go off by myself and think, or write, or do whatever, but always at the expense of talking with anyone. As you get older, you find the reasons you do things are not practical so much as practiced. I wanted to be an introvert more than I ever was one. And ever since I gave up on the label, I’ve been much more willing to have conversations with anyone and everyone. It hasn’t left me tired and exhausted but inspired. I have so many more good people in my life because I gave up on the illusion of introversion as an identity.

“So I would say: Rethink what you cling to for identity. Often, it’s just a way of protecting yourself instead of being open to new things and people.”

***

Lastly, if you haven’t checked out the recent playlist from Quarter One of this year, I highly recommend it. There’s something there for everyone. Feel free to list your most noteworthy songs of the past while in the comments below!

Robert Hyma’s Q1 – 2024 Playlist

***

Wishing everyone as well as you can be. You’re not alone out there,

May 8, 2024 0 comments
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| Playlists |

Q1 – 2024 Playlist

by Robert Hyma April 20, 2024
written by Robert Hyma

Q1 2024 ended up being one of those playlists that can change any mood for the better. The first track is “This Time Around” by Beauty Queen, a vibing pulser that starts any drive or walk with cares and worries falling away. “Hush” by The Marías is that droning, feel-good club music that you reach for your best and bassiest headphones to listen to.

Thematically, some gems pad the middle of the playlist, including “She’s Too Good For You” by Audio Book Club and “Hater’s Anthem” by Infinity Song, reflective and critical pieces about pedestal-placed love interests and the rampaging hating ways of haters. Since the end of the playlist coincided with a busy finale to a college semester, a classic angst-ridden guitar ballad “Now I’m Ready to Win” by Tokyo Police Club became a foundational repeat track; all the better to amp up for exams and final projects with.

Rounding out Q1 were a few surprises. Justin Timberlake’s latest album, Everything I Thought It Would Be, is a fantastic listen, but the hard-hitting “Sanctified” ultimately made the cut in terms of replay-ability. The final surprise featured one of my favorite bands from the early 2000s, Shout Out Louds. Filled with nostalgia, “The Comeback – Revisited” is a softer iteration of their original hit song but with the echoing thoughtfulness that comes from experience and reflection. If nothing else, the last track asks what comes next after considering where it all started from.

What better way to think about the first 3 months of 2024 than with a new, shiny playlist to tote around?

Click on the Spotify banner below to give it a listen!

  1. “This Time Around” by Beauty Queen
  2. “Fumari” by Peach Tree Rascals
  3. “Hush” by The Marías
  4. “idwtgtbt” by the booyah! kids
  5. “I Gotta I Gotta” by flowerovlove
  6. “Open Up Wide” by Dizzy
  7. “Best Interests” by Carmanah
  8. “She’s Too Cool for You” by Audio Book Club
  9. “Tightrope” by bennytheghost
  10. “Switch” by Biig Piig
  11. “Karma Tattoo” by Jenny Mayhem
  12. “Paint Your Nails Blue” by Dirty Nice
  13. “Ready to Win” by Tokyo Police Club
  14. “Sanctified (feat. Tobe Nwigwe)” by Justin Timberlake, Tobe Nwigwe
  15. “The Comeback – Revisited” by Shout Out Louds

***

Q1 – 2024 Playlist
April 20, 2024 0 comments
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