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2022

| Playlists |

Q4 – 2022 Playlist

by Robert Hyma January 10, 2023
written by Robert Hyma

This is it, the final Playlist of 2022. There were a few surprises, a few new tracks from favorite artists, but on the whole I found the struggle with curated playlists on streaming services limiting.

A quick digression.

The Apple Music formula is this: add a song to your library and the ENTIRETY OF THE TRACKLIST from that album will be cycled through your Made For You playlist in subsequent weeks. This isn’t altogether annoying, but you get the picture after two or three weeks of recommended tracks from the same album appearing over and over again. I get it: It’s good for the artists and for listening to tracks that you might skip should new artists pack a Made For You playlist instead, but this gets tiresome. It’s a small nitpick from otherwise helpful playlists curated by music streaming services.

Digression over.

Anyway, the good stuff from the last quarter of 2022 was noteworthy and addictively repayable:

“Shoot Me in the Grocery Line” by youproblem is a fantastic new track. It reminds me of a swath of recent female-lead artists such as ALASKALASKA and Elise Trouw that combine tantric rhythms with gunfire lyrics (I’m doing my best Pitchfork music review impression, if you can’t tell). On the newer side, Goldpark and j.flowers.mp3 hit the mark in terms of replayability, specifically with tracks like “If That’s What You Want” and “Rome, with Love (featuring Leah Cleaver, AKS & Yelfris Valdés)” Add in the familiar bombastic lyrics of another Abhi the Nomad (featuring shane doe) banger with “Cobain”, and this playlist makes for a great low-key mix to keep playing in the background for just about anything (sans family night–Explicit lyrics are the norm on my playlists, I’m afraid).

Ashamedly, this last quarter of 2022 was my first foray into the world of Taylor Swift (I know, WAY TOO late to the T. Swift party; her new album “Midnights” was excellent). I’m not giddy enough to drop an entire pay cycle to win auctioned tickets from Ticket Master, but I’ll nod knowingly that I did, in fact, miss out after all this time avoiding T. Swift fandom. I was ecstatic to find a new Halloween staple that will be playing every October from now on by the great Jeremy Messersmith titled “666”. It’s hard to dethrone “The Monster Mash”, but as a hipster update to a Halloween jam, Messersmith’s new track hits the mark and I love it.

As always, I love exchanging music and hearing what everyone else is currently playing, so please feel free to add what you’re listening to below in the comments!

Until then, enjoy this last offering of 2022. And hey, here’s hoping for another abundant year of music in 2023. Until that next playlist drops, keep well everyone!

  1. “Did I Make You Up?” by half-alive
  2. “Shoot Me In the Grocery Line” by youproblem
  3. “F**k It I Love You” by Oh Wonder
  4. “Unholy Appetite” by Barrie
  5. “Surfing in Iceland” by Goth Babe
  6. “dandelion” by Winnetka Bowling League
  7. “666” by Jeremy Messersmith
  8. “If That’s What You Want” by Goldpark
  9. “Deep End” by Dayglow
  10. “Wildest Dreams (Taylor’s Version)” by Taylor Swift
  11. “World’s Smallest Violin” by AJR
  12. “Void” by Crystal Glass
  13. “Pizza Boy” by Everything Everything
  14. “Living Life Right” by Anna of the North
  15. “Cobain” by Abhi the Nomad & shane doe
  16. “The Core” by Babe Club
  17. “Rome, with Love (featuring Leah Cleaver, AKS & Yelfris Valdés)” by jflowers.mp3
January 10, 2023 0 comments
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| Playlists |

Q3 – 2022 Playlist

by Robert Hyma October 8, 2022
written by Robert Hyma

Can you believe it has been 3/4 of 2022 already? That question can be taken in two ways: either it is shocking how fast time is moving, or (in this case) it can’t move FAST ENOUGH because:

Guess what?

It’s time for another playlist!

For the Q3 2022 playlist, I was between a rock and hard place in terms of variety. There were great new artists like gglum, Lizzo, The Wrecks, and Lights. There were also amazing releases from established favorites like Strabe, Anna of the North, Rubblebucket, Sure Sure, and Young the Giant.

But there are times when you find a new artist you can’t get enough of. All I wanted to do was cram as many amazing tracks as possible into this playlist from this new artist: corook.

Often, I’ll find a new artist and listen in disbelief that an entire collection of songs can be so good and, yet, remains relatively unknown (at least by viewer count). Corook needs more plays, simple as that. Particularly, I fell in love with “Snakes” and “hell yeah”, as well as the emotionally/politically charged “it’s ok!”. Anyone who has ever been in a longterm relationship has felt like the track “BDSM”. Just an amazingly relatable artist with incredible sound and lyrics.

Below is the track listing for the Q3 -2022 Playlist. There’s bound to be something in here for everyone!

And as always: Spotify and Apple Music links are available at the bottom of the page. Let me know in the comments what songs you liked, didn’t like, found surprising (please say corook *smiles*). Enjoy these hot new tracks!

  1. “Paths in the Sky” by Metric
  2. “Brass Band” by Jukebox the Ghost
  3. “W.I.F.I.” by Wildermiss
  4. “Hang Around” by Echosmith
  5. “Ramona” by Jukebox the Ghost
  6. “Symphony” by Imagine Dragons
  7. “Weak Teeth” by gglum
  8. “Tomorrow” by Young the Giant
  9. “Too Dramatic” by Ra Ra Riot
  10. “About Damn Time” by Lizzo
  11. “it’s ok!” by corook
  12. “Breathe Me In” by Strabe
  13. “Wonderful Life” by Two Door Cinema Club
  14. “Teletype” by Everything Everything
  15. “BDSM” by corook
  16. “No Place I’d Rather Be” by The Wrecks
  17. “The Walk Home” by Young the Giant
  18. “Earth Worship” by Rubblebucket
  19. “Seize the Power” by Yonaka
  20. “Reality Dreaming” by Strabe
  21. “Bird Sing” by Anna of the North
  22. “Okay Okay” by Lights
  23. “hell yeah” by corook
  24. “Snakes” by corook
  25. “Facc” by Sure Sure
October 8, 2022 0 comments
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| Weekly Post-Eds |

Weekly Post-Ed #41

by Robert Hyma August 17, 2022
written by Robert Hyma

LIVING THE DREAM

A few weeks after graduating from high school, I went up to my varsity goalie coach to talk about where I could play next season. He was standing by the glass at the ice rink, watching another up-and-coming goalie, a sophomore who could potentially make the varsity team next year. He saw me in the corner of his eye, and I awkwardly put my hands into my pocket and approached.

            “Hey coach,” I said. “Got a second?”

            “Sure,” he said, still watching the sophomore practice. “What’s on your mind?”

            “I was just wondering if…you know…you had any suggestions of where I could play next year?”

            My former goalie coach turned away from the glass and looked to see if I was kidding. Pitifully, he saw I wasn’t. “You can always try the community college team. I hear they’re bringing the program back around.”

            “I mean, I can go anywhere, right? What teams should I try out for?”

            He turned back to watching the sophomore. “You played four games last year, Robert. Not a lot of teams had a good look at you, or even know who you are. I’d say the beer leagues are a great place to start.”

            At the time, I thought that his answer was dismissive. However, from the vantage of my mid-thirties and looking back at my 18-year-old self that had just completed his first year of competitive hockey, this answer was gracious in hindsight. My former coach knew my story. He knew I started playing ice hockey three years before and started taking goalie lessons only a year after I had begun. He knew my knowledge about travel hockey was next to nil.

            It was a gracious answer because he didn’t tell me the truth—which was that I was a dreamer who had no idea what the road to pro hockey looked like.

            My former goalie coach was Carl Howell, a former pro goaltender who played minor league hockey. Carl played goalie in an era when wearing a thin layer of molded fiberglass over your face was the best protection available—you know, the “Jason” mask from the film Friday the 13th.

            His career ended when scrambling in his goal crease for a loose puck, and a stick struck him in the eye, plucking it out of the socket. This was also the era where dirty tactics were the norm. Many forwards pounded a nail into the top of the blade of their hockey sticks, which made it all the easier to hook a guy and cut him open in the process (because if you’re going to get a 2-minute penalty for hooking, you might as well cut an incision big enough for a surgeon on your way to the penalty box). 

            Scrambling in the crease, a nail stuck into his eye and pulled the eye clean out of his face.

            The eye was saved and reinserted into the socket, but my former coach lost most of his depth perception, which made stopping pucks nearly impossible, thereby ending his career. He might have played in the NHL full time had he had better fortune.

            “Ok,” I answered my goalie coach after he told me to play in the beer leagues. “Do you know which one I should join?”

            He smiled, a brimming, knowing smile full of hockey knowledge I could never know or understand. “They’ll find you if they want you. Keep your phone on.”            

            It took years to realize that, no, I wasn’t going to be scouted to play pro hockey. I had a dream when I started playing, and only years after that did the bigger picture of the pro hockey life start to dawn on me.

            All I had was a dream and I thought it was enough to make the NHL.

            I’ve always pondered the phrase “Living the Dream”. To me, the phrase meant to have the ideal life where one was doing the work they loved, the kind where real struggle and toil were nonexistent. While watching the 2022 World Junior Hockey Championship over the last week, I discovered a vastly different view form what it means to live the dream. 

            Many of the players participating in the 2022 World Junior Hockey Championship are living the dream. To be chosen to represent your country is indication that you are the best of your age group. You see the names that have made previous Canadian or US World Junior teams and many have become stars in the NHL. To assume these young players are on a path to greatness seems logical. Aren’t these players living the dream?

            Not exactly. 

            To have arrived at the World Junior stage, these players have grown up with a constant pressure to perform since they’ve put on a pair of skates and shown superior skills compared to everyone else their age. With these superior skills came a caravan of interested parties: parents, coaches, scouts, former pros, and everyone else who saw the potential of someone who, one day, could have his name on the back of a NHL jersey. All these young players had to leave their families to play in the top Junior Leagues in the country, living with host families in place of their own, devoting their whole life to playing the game they hope will lead to becoming a professional. 

            The 2022 World Junior Championship is just a steppingstone along the way to being a professional. It’s another measuring station to prove that these prospects are on task and exceeding even greater expectations. There’s no downtime. These players are still required to produce, to keep separating themselves from the competition, to put up the best numbers of their careers in their draft year just to move up a few spots into the coveted Top 5 of the NHL Draft.

            These players know the road to pro hockey by 17-years-old because it has been instilled into their belief system since they started. They are the future, and they play every shift like it, too.

            And after watching a few games of these future stars, I thought back to when I was 17-years-old with the dream of becoming one of them.

            I can laugh at how absurd that dream was.

            A year before talking with my varsity goalie coach, I was at my neighborhood park on a cement rink with a painted goalie crease and undersized net, donning plastic-shelled street hockey goalie gear. I spent nights duct-taping the goalie pads back together after they had disintegrated from the last time of sliding across the cement crease. A group of five of us played along with whichever neighborhood kids came around, ranging from elementary to high schoolers. Most everyone ran in tennis shoes or didn’t own a pair of rollerblades. Hardly any wore hockey gloves and had blisters on their hands after a few hours of shooting with old wooden hockey sticks.

            We played in 90-degree heat. All of us wearing a replica jersey of our favorite NHL teams we had bid on eBay for cheap. We were the neighborhood all-stars without a clue about what it meant to play the pro game, but it didn’t much matter.

            I was never going to play at a level remotely close to what the best players in the world could play at age 17. It still doesn’t much matter. I still play hockey even with a worsening arthritic wrist and pinched nerve near a hip flexor that feels like absolute agony after playing all these years. 

            I’ll keep playing because I’ve decided the dream is to keep it going for as long as possible.

            That’s what I share with those 2022 World Junior players—the will to keep living the dream.

            It’s not worth losing an eye over, maybe, but for a sore wrist and stiff hip?

            I’ll keep my phone on.

***

GOODY TWO-SHOES

            I struggle to write about movies because they inevitably morph into mini reviews. And truthfully, I don’t want to write reviews on this website. Reviews, and criticism for that matter, revolve around an air of expertise, that because a thing has flaws or was masterful in some way, it means that the reviewer had the pedigree to point out why. A good critic is a fine thing to have in the world (allegedly), but overall, I think an audience knows how they feel about entertainment without someone defining terms.

            In the world of entertainment, I’ve seldom found a review useful before experiencing something first. 

            So, if you haven’t seen Luck, don’t worry—I won’t be reviewing the movie. Instead, I’m interested in the ramifications of the hero of the movie, the aged-out orphan, Sam.

            Sam is fascinating because there isn’t much to her character other than the fact that she was an orphan with bad luck and was never adopted. She is good to a fault and wants nothing more than for others to succeed in life. Samrepresents the ideal kind and selfless person, someone willing to sacrifice her own wellbeing for the sake of others. Of course, this goodness leads to her saving the day and everyone lives happily ever after by the end.

            Hey, this is a kid’s movie after all—why would everything not work out?

            However, it’s the subject matter of the movie that further complicates the character of Sam. The movie is about “bad luck” and its value in the world. Can someone with bad luck still strive to be a good person despite how things have turned out? What would be different about our lives if we had had “good luck” instead of “bad luck”? 

            These are fun concepts to debate, but let’s think about it in terms of Sam’s character as the ideal selfless giver. 

            In Luck, the question the film wants us to ask of Sam is, “Will she ever get rid of her bad luck?”

            And this was my problem with Sam: I didn’t really care if she got rid of bad luck or not.

            Here’s the thing: I want to believe in the characters of the movie. I want to follow and cheer for them when they get what they need. With characters like Sam, however, I found myself rolling my eyes at her selfless acts and goodwill. She was SO GOOD that I began to see this as annoying. I started to feel the gimmick of bad luck following her around all the time was JUSTIFIED.

            There’s a name for this wanting someone to have misfortune. No, it’s not schadenfreude, which is pleasure we derive from others’ pain. No, this was more of a feeling of wanting bad things to happen to someone attempting to do “too much” good.

            We’ve heard the term before. We call these people who do good without reciprocity a Goody Two-Shoes.

            We want a Goody Two-Shoes to fail. They’re the ones who always raise their hand in class because they have the right answer, the ones who always have a compliment or positive thing to say about someone, the ones who pitch in and help clean up a mess they didn’t make. While these are all wonderful qualities, we want terrible things to befall this person.

            Why?

            Because none of it is justified without acknowledgment of a dark side. Goodness is impressive with 3-dimensional characters, not as a moral set of instructions.

            Sam is good for goodness sake (yes, like the Christmas song) and for no other reason that’s given. Perhaps there wasn’t time to further flesh out why she behaves this way, but I had a hard time empathizing with someone passed over for adoption, who certainly suffers from some history of childhood trauma or abandonment issues with no symptoms at age 18. This is someone I’m not rooting for because I don’t understand her.

            I’d argue this choice of character doesn’t work. I like goodness, but like love, I want to see it earned. In a romantic comedy, the audience knows the leading man and lady are going to end up together in the end…but the fun of the story is the style and stakes of the obstacles that prevent this.

            In Luck, without consequences to Sam’s “bad luck” other than the universe backfiring on her every waking move, there’s very little reason to care.

            (Unless you feel the idea of a “good person” is enough…in which case, good for you—two enthusiastic thumbs up.)

            Sam isn’t responsible for her misfortune; the universe is.

            In other words, Deus Ex Machina, which is why I think the story all falls apart.

            Something else influences Sam’s destiny, not her choices.

            It’s difficult to root for someone who isn’t in control of their destiny. With Sam, I felt neutral about her misfortunes coming to an end. I liked her, but what else was there?

            I wanted to know more about Sam.

            I just didn’t get it.

            Which is just my luck!

***

MY FIRST ESSAY IS OUT NOW!

            That’s right, my first full essay was posted last Sunday! It’s about EVO, the Evolution Championship Seriesor the premiere fighting game tournament held in Las Vegas every summer. The tournament has undergone quite a storied couple of years and I wanted to write about my history following the fighting game community during that time. I’m happy with how the essay turned out and will link it below.

            I plan on writing more essays like the EVO piece more often. I have a few in the pipeline but I haven’t much else to share right now, so to stay tuned!

            Please give EVO: Reunion a read! I’m always looking for feedback and would love to read your thoughts!

***

  1. “Wonderful Life” by Two Door Cinema Club
  2. “Breathe Me In” by Strabe
  3. “it’s ok!” by corook

***

Wishing everyone as well as you can be. You’re not alone out there,

August 17, 2022 0 comments
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| Essays |

Reunion: EVO 2022

by Robert Hyma August 14, 2022
written by Robert Hyma

PRESS PLAY TO START

Eight years ago, I started watching a tournament called EVO, short for the Evolution Championship Series. It’s the world championships for fighting games held every summer in Las Vegas, Nevada. I didn’t know it then, but EVO 2014 was the return of the Super Smash Bros. series after a 5-year hiatus from the tournament. 

            I sat in the basement of my parent’s house, loosely aware of a website called Twitch and browsed the frontpage for something interesting to watch. I saw footage of two players sitting in front of an old CRT television on a stage with a crowd of spectators watching on from behind. The players were none other than Mango and Mew2King, two of the greatest Super Smash Bros. Melee players of all time. I thought I would return to playing whatever game on Xbox I had loaded up, but I couldn’t turn away from my laptop screen. Here was my favorite game being played at a level I never thought possible. If the automobile instantly made the horse drawn carriage obsolete so, too, did watching Mango and Mew2King play in a set.

Courtesy Evo2kVids

            I thought my Super Smash Bros. Melee skills were adequate, but I was clearly mistaken.

            For the next three days, my eyes were glued to every match being showcased. I saw the greatest Smash Bros. players from around the world wield the likes of Samus, Captain Falcon, Fox McCloud, Marth, Pikachu, and Jigglypuff, moving in ways that seemed impossible. I heard the commentators using foreign phrases like “Wavedashing” and “Edge-guarding” and “Footsies” for the first time, terms that would later become the bedrock of my future tactical approach to playing fighting games.

            What I remembered above all else, however, was that watching this level of play was exhilarating. It felt like watching the Olympics and the greatest athletes in the world were neck and neck in a race to win it all. Except, instead of physical feats, these players wielded handheld controllers from a bygone era, engaged in a mental battle of reading the other, a virtuoso digital chess match played at a millisecond-by-millisecond pace.

            EVO 2014 was something that changed how I saw the world, opening a portal to something so endearing and yet new. Not only was there Super Smash Bros. Melee, but the Marvel vs Capcom 3 Ultimate, Tekken Tag Tournament, and Super Street Fight IV tournaments were just as exhilarating.

            By 1 AM, late into Monday morning when EVO 2014 concluded, I was too awake to sleep. I had seen something euphoric, spellbinding. There was only one thing I could do and that was to tell someone.

            The next day I hung out with a friend that I’ve played Super Smash Bros. with since the original launched on the Nintendo 64 to explain everything I had seen. As we sat down to play, I told him about the Grand Finals set between Mango and Hungrybox, the famous Jigglypuff player who perfected the sleep setup—essentially a maneuver that could guarantee a KO on his opponent from near perfect health. The tension of will or won’t Hungrybox land the setup was enough to make the crowd leap out of their seats. I told my friend about all the hours and struggle these players put into playing, how it was heartbreaking that someone who fought so hard came up just short.

            My friend shrugged as we hit start to play a match and said, “But it kind of sucks. You put all that time into playing a game and what do you get for it? You lose and you’ve just wasted your life on video games.”

            Was that really all it amounted to? Had I just stayed up all night enamored with the excitement of competition? There wasn’t anything more than that?

            I decided not to tell another soul about EVO, about what I had stayed up for three days to watch.

            “…you’ve just wasted your life on video games,” he had said.

            Eight years later, on the eve of EVO 2022, the echo of those words came up again and again. 

**

OUT WITH THE OLD, IN WITH THE NEW

            Since EVO 2014, I spent years of my life watching every tournament associated with fighting games. I devoted weekends to watching Defend the North, Community Effort Orlando, Combo Breaker, Canada Cup, even the weekly Next Level Battle Circuit tourneys held in NYC featuring Team Spooky on the mic, the most celebrated and historied streaming presence in the community.

            As the years passed on, I watched fewer tournaments, but was avidly interested in news from the scene. Prized players arrived and left, some tiring of endless competition, while others levied their reputation as content creators or jobs in the gaming space. This allowed room for new players to grow into their own, and a revolving door of new talent took to the stage. Eventually, the burgeoning of esports that had brought other gaming communities under the influence of corporate sponsorship took hold of the fighting game community. Players adorned in team jerseys and tagged with sponsorship logos represented every gaming peripheral imaginable (headsets, arcade sticks, even energy drinks). These players became the ultimate contenders as dream teams were assembled to win.

            One of the beautiful things about fighting game tournaments is that ANYONE can enter and compete against the world’s best. Often these dream teams didn’t win because of the ever-expanding scene bringing to light a new generation of players who could hold their own.

            Meanwhile, as home console supremacy took hold, arcades in malls and small establishments slowly went out of business. These training grounds for some of the best players in the world closed their doors for good, a relic from the past along with the video rental store.

            It was a tumultuous decade of “out with the old, in with the new”.

            By 2018, EVO had become the biggest fighting game tournament in the world. Each year, the convention center in Las Vegas grew larger and larger, with grand finals of five premier gaming titles reserved for Sunday at an arena nearby. Competitors met center stage to play in front of thousands of spectators, the roars of the crowd likened to the NBA Finals rather than a crowd of gamers gathered on a Sunday to cheer on a pair of players hitting buttons on a gamepad or arcade stick. 

            EVO had also become the premier event for big game announcements from prized publishers like Capcom, Bandai Namco, Arc System Works and more. After the conclusion of each game’s grand finals came a surprise visit from a game developer, usually the director of the series, to introduce the latest character or work-in-progress that would be added as downloadable content in the coming months.

            EVO had become an industry, a capital event. And there was no deterring its upward trajectory.

**

THE DARK BEFORE THE DAWN

            Stop me if you’ve ever heard this before: “Everything was going great…until March of 2020.”

            Due to concerns with the ongoing pandemic, EVO 2020 was slated to be “remote”, an online-only tournament, all to the chagrin of many top players. It was an official EVO, but online play was in a wretched state in 2020. A widely used Netcode architecture led to such random fluctuations in game performance that it was impossible for even top players to play consistent. Playing online wasn’t so much a show of skill but rather of luck—if the Netcode fluctuated during a pivotal moment in the match, anyone could take advantage of a player caught performing a move they didn’t intend. EVO would be a tournament of chance, which was no way to crown the top player in the world.

            Performance issues aside, a second blow finally canceled the tournament completely. One of the former founders of EVO and its then CEO was accused of hazing allegations that spanned over several years towards younger players. In the ensuing weeks, all game publishers had pulled their games from the tournament in protest for his removal.

            EVO 2020 was officially canceled.

            Many wondered if EVO would ever return. And in March of 2021, more doubt was cast on the storied tournament’s revival.

            An announcement that Sony Interactive Entertainment had bought all rights to the premier tournament shocked the fighting game community. Sony, the makers of PlayStation, was feared to have its own agenda when buying a tournament that saw games from a variety of rival publishers, including Microsoft and Nintendo. Would Sony admit Nintendo games into their tournament (Super Smash Bros. Ultimate being at the height of popularity at the time)? Would they admit Killer Instinct, a Microsoft-owned IP and console rival?

            EVO was beginning to feel like a shell of its former glory; a corporate-owned, commodity-run business spectacle.

            And the business side was only half the problem.

            Over the course of the pandemic, the fighting game community had splintered. With no choice but to forgo in-person events for nearly three straight years since the  beginning of the pandemic, the veil of social media anonymity brought out the worst in the community. Many stoked the flames of old arguments about which games were better than others. The rhetoric behind what constitutes healthy shit-talking and what crossed the line to outright harassment nearly brought the community into a civil war, of sorts. Even one of the most prominent streamers and production companies behind many fighting game tournaments, Team Spooky, left the tournament scene behind in NYC because of criticisms constantly levied towards him and his production staff.

            By August of 2022, after an entire year of bad publicity and toxic social discourse, I had long forgotten that EVOwas scheduled to begin in the coming days. When a notification popped up on my phone, I quickly dismissed it. I wasn’t interested. With everything considered, I thought of the words my friend said all those years ago.

            “You put all that time into playing a game and what do you get for it? You lose and you’ve just wasted your life on video games.”

            Maybe he was right. What was the point in spending all those weekends watching fighting game tournaments? I was ready to move on. Maybe I would catch some of EVO in passing, but I wasn’t going to stay and watch this time. 

            I was over it.

            I think many felt this way on the night before EVO 2022.

**

REUNION

            On August 5th, the convention doors opened at the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino in Las Vegas, the warm rays of the desert sun shone on a new day for fighting game competition. A collective of players, fans, artists, vendors, video game developers, and volunteers showed up in droves, pouring in through the doors to find their weekend badges and settled in to compete in pools.

            Out of curiosity, I turned to the EVO main feed airing on Twitch.tv. I was shocked by the number of people there. 

            COVID safety protocols were in place, and everyone was mandated to wear a mask in the convention center. In the background of the video feed there were countless hugs being shared in the crowd, long lost friends reunited under one roof for the first time in three years. Accounts on social media shared group photos of old training partners, even those from old arcade venues long shut down during the pandemic. Some shed tears, absorbed into the N95 masks or into long embraces on shoulders. It was like watching family members reunited as though they had been separated by some great natural catastrophe. 

            In many ways, it was.

            I didn’t log off. I kept watching, and the familiar sensation of seeing the competition come from everywhere imaginable – France, UK, Pakistan, Japan, Thailand, Mexico, Chili, East Coast, West Coast, Canada…came back as it did before.

            I glanced at the numbers watching the stream. Some 50,000+ were watching in the first hour across the many EVO channels on Twitch.tv

            Exhilaration: it was still there! Quickly, I turned to one of the other channels hosting the start of the Street Fighter V tournament. And it all came rushing back; the familiar smile, rooting for the unknown player to make a splash, to see everyone come together and compete.

**

THE FINEST OF FIGHTERS

            If you’ve never witnessed the collective hype and excitement of a crowd attuned to the second-to-second decisions playing out on a screen between two fighting game characters, there’s nothing quite like it. EVO is famously encapsulated by a video deemed EVO Moment #37 wherein Daigo Umehara’s Ken parries a Super by Justin Wong’s Chun-Lee who is sure to win the match. The parry, even if done casually in Street Fighter III: Third Strike, was a risky maneuver that had to be timed perfectly. The skill and scope required to pull off such a parry during a semifinal set on the biggest tournament stage in the world was nothing short of miraculous at the time.

Courtesy evo2kvids

            So many storylines gave breadth and scope to EVO 2022, rekindling the hype and togetherness of bygone eras like the one shown in EVO Moment #37. From Mortal Kombat 11’s Top 8, which included the dethronement of perhaps the most dominant fighting game player of this generation, SonicFox, and saw the dominance of two Chilian brothers claim first and third place (with a dominant performance by T7G’s ScorpionProcs), to The King of Fighter’s XV Top 8 that included a truly inspiring win from Taiwan’s ZJZ—it was one of the finest 72-hours of fighting games ever seen.

            Most noteworthy was Street Fighter V’s Top 8.

            The bracket was filled with absolute legends of the game including Daigo Umehara, Tokido, MisterCrimson of the EU, gachikun, Justakid, Oil King, a young Japanese starlit named Kawano, and the NYC phenom iDom.

            To set the stage of this grand finals, EVO is an open-bracket, double-elimination tournament that takes place over three days, culminating in a journeyman’s effort to survive to Top 8 on Sunday. The tournament features a breakneck schedule of round robin play that sometimes sees pools played late into the night depending on delays, and the endurance to keep the mind and body healthy through 12+ hours of gaming in a single day. It is a testament to one of the most rigorous tournaments around.

            One of the hardest positions to be in with a double elimination bracket tournament is to be sent to Losers Side. To win the tournament, not only must you go without another loss, but you must win two complete sets in Grand Finals over the Winners Side contestant.

Courtesy Streetfighterleague.com

            iDom began in Losers Side on Sunday night at the Michelob Light Ultra Arena, first playing against another USA favorite, Justakid. iDom plays one character in Street Fighter V (as opposed to multiple players who use specific characters for specific matchups). He uses Laura, the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu fighter, and believes in sticking to the character that best represents you as a player. Laura is not the strongest character in the game, but iDom uses her in a way that befuddles his opponents. He’s outrageously aggressive, and his ability to make reads on his opponent all but leads to uncanny mistakes from them. It’s suffocating to watch his offensive play.

            No one was ready for the level of performance iDom was about to show the world on the final night of EVO 2022. 

            He first defeated Justakid, then went on to face Daigo Umehara, arguably the greatest fighting game player of all time. At 41, Daigo has been playing competitively for 20+ years, longer than the inception of the EVO tournament. His playstyle is unlike anyone else’s because of the knowledge and expertise that he wields. That iDom, a great player in his own right, had to face Daigo, win or go home, was nothing short of fantastic.

Courtesy evo2kvids

            iDom wins. It isn’t nearly over. He has to face Tokido in the next round of Losers Side, perhaps the second-finest player of his generation. At every turn, the audience is rooting for the US player who represents the home crowd to pull through, but the auditorium knows the odds. To beat Daigo is one thing, but then to match up with Tokido, one right after the other, and win? Unheard of. Yet, iDom prevails 3-0 against the storied Japanese player.

            Meanwhile, the 17-year-old starlit of the Street Fighter V scene in Japan hasn’t lost a game in the tournament. Kawano has just beat gachikun, the former Capcom Cup champion and sent him to Losers Side. He awaits the winner between iDom and gachikun. Somehow, iDom must defeat this next titan of the game as well.

            And iDom does defeat gachikun, perhaps in one of the greatest sets in Street Fighter V history.

Courtesy evo2kvids

            It’s Grand Finals, the final set of Top 8. By this point, iDom has captured the belief of everyone in the arena and watching at home. The way iDom was playing was like watching the greatest athlete of our age dominate in the playoffs. He was a modern-day Michael Jordan willing his team to victory, achieving the unbelievable along the way. And yet, the 17-year-old Kawano has also held his own against the world’s best. It truly was a test of the greatest players in the world that night. 

            At this point, not a soul watching disbelieves in iDom. He is Beowulf, Achilles, the greatest warrior in the world on this night. It was manifest destiny that iDom would win this tournament. 

            iDom won the first set, pushing Kawano to the brink with an easy reset of Grand Finals. There are only three games left to win and he’s crowned EVO champion.

            In the second set, the pace was frantic for both sides. Kawano continued to make small adjustments despite iDom’s brilliance, and he found ways to connect his bread-and-butter combos with Kolin, the icy Secret Society agent character of his choosing. Both kept to character loyalty, a battle of ability versus functionality; and each match was testament to read the other.

            As though following the greatest script ever written for this night, the tournament comes down to the final game, final set, and final match. iDom and Kawano have a quarter health bar each. One mistake means victory for the other. iDom sees his opening and commits to punish Kawano and take the tournament. Glory is his; we all expect it!

            Until iDom misses his opening.

            Kawano recovers and connects with a final bread-and-butter combo.

            iDom loses.

            Collectively, all our hearts broke. iDom’s heart the worst of all; he couldn’t lift himself up from his chair after congratulating Kawano. He had come too far, done the unfathomable, and when he was at the finish line a simple mistake in judgment led to his defeat.

            And the words of my friend echoed in my head as I watched iDom continue sitting there, defeated:

            “…You put all that time into playing a game and what do you get for it? You lose and you’ve just wasted your life on video games.”

**

AND THE WORLD WILL BE A BETTER PLACE

            The lights on the stage floor lit up as the Top 8 of Street Fighter V gathered on stage to be awarded their medals. Top three received gold, custom-painted arcade sticks, a nice touch by tournament organizers. And as each competitor on stage for Street Fighter V was announced, all eyes were on iDom. He wasn’t crying, that anyone could see because his mask was pulled up so tight to his eyeline. Kawano had won, and rightfully—it is never a fluke to win EVO, and props were given to Kawano as the only one capable of surviving the onslaught levied by the tenacious play of iDom.

            To think about all the hours spent training, not just for iDom but all 5045 entrants of EVO 2022 (according to the start.gg bracket stats), the countless matches played against training partners, all the videos watched dissecting matchups and playstyles, the travel to tournaments to train and prepare for the biggest stage in the world…and to come up short, whether in 2nd place or to go 0-2 in pools…

            In a world of thankless competition, was any of it worthwhile then?

            “And in second place,” said the announcer LIJoe, another favorite of the fighting game community, “give it up for iDom!”

            A standing ovation! The applause was deafening as all came to their feet. There is seldom standing ovation for runner-ups, but the play of iDom was that of a champion without the trophy. With a nod, iDom received his second-place medal, not the one he fought so hard for, but for the applause, the affirmation everyone showed that he had done something truly remarkable.

            At that moment, I knew why my friend was wrong all those years ago.

            To spend your life committed to something you truly believe in, no matter what the result, is never going to be a waste. Because it matters. It truly matters in ways that aren’t obviously understood.

            All those years ago, I watched players like Mango and Mew2King light the Super Smash Bros. Melee world on fire with their amazing play at EVO, and I’ve never forgotten how that felt. To think that somewhere out there, someone witnessed the way iDom and Kawano played on a Sunday night in Las Vegas has forever changed their life.

            It means everything.

            When I look back at EVO 2022 and what this past 72-hours meant to all who watched and participated, who showed up at the venue despite the rifts growing within the community; it’s clear that it meant everything to come together again. The hugs, the tears, the acknowledgment of the struggles we all faced during the (still ongoing) pandemic, the periods of isolation and anguish, the petty squabbles and inbred battles—none if it amounted to anything once the doors opened on August 5th.

            Playing games without the promise of success matters.

            Being together matters.

            You matter.

            I won’t be silent this time with regards to what I saw at EVO 2022. Time to spread the word.      

            EVO Tokyo was announced for March of 2023. I’ll be watching. Oh, and if you’re wondering when the next time the community will come back together between now and the next tournament, the answer is simple enough:

            We have always been together.

August 14, 2022 0 comments
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Weekly Post-Ed #40

by Robert Hyma August 10, 2022
written by Robert Hyma

CLUELESS ABOUT CLUELESS

            Apple Fitness has this masterful way of thematically curating music during workouts—and as it turns out a stint of Pilates (yup, not ashamed to admit it—Pilates kicks my ass) was rocking to the soundtrack greats from 90s romantic comedies, most notably 10 Things I Hate About You and Clueless. Since it has been a decade since I’ve seen the latter film, I loaded up my movie library Monday night and watched the cult comedy written and directed by Amy Heckerling.

            After the first ten minutes of the movie, I realized I had undergone a time warp. Watching Clueless today was nothing like when I first saw it at 10-years-old (yes, on television, those dark days before on-demand streaming services). What I was watching today was masterful moviemaking; but this wasn’t how I thought of Clueless as a kid. In fact, I don’t think I knew what to think of movies back then.

            At ten, I remember being aware of adult relationships but unsure of how they worked. Movies were the framework that I based my earliest experiences with girls on—a practice that landed me a 100% failure rate.

            When I first saw The American President starring Michael Douglas, for example, the first “flirtatious” move I learned was to compliment girls on their shoes—a famous Aaron Sorkin line from the film. This confused many girls who wore dated Nikes and grass-stained Adidas sneakers, as rightfully they should have been. The compliment was meant for dressing up at fancy State Dinners at the White House, not for footwear that befell the wear and tear of Michigan winters.

            I made a similar mistake after watching The Fast and the Furious when I thought a good move was to compliment a cute girl on her mother’s beat up red 1998 Grand Prix. “Your mom’s got a nice car,” I told her. She asked why I said this and I didn’t really know—I wanted to look knowledgeable about cars because that was impressive to girls in the movie.

            My rule was that if a movie said it, I should probably say it, too. Why else would these things be in movies if it wasn’t a cool thing to talk about?

            I don’t remember taking many social cues from Clueless, however. The relationships in the movie mystified me. For example, when Alicia Silverstone’s character, Cher, has a romantic fling with Christian, the new boy in school, I was COMPLETELY unaware of why the relationship didn’t work out and he abruptly left after their date. He seemed like everything she ever wanted, they seemed compatible…what more was there to it?

            I just assumed he was too cool for her…even though he didn’t compliment her shoes or her father’s make and model of car.

            Even after Donald Faison’s character, Murray, explains in the next scene during a disastrous car ride along a LA freeway, “He’s a cake eater!…He’s gay!” I still didn’t understand. I paused the movie trying to determine what “gay” meant at ten-years-old. I just knew people made fun of you for being it, but that wasn’t Christian in the movie. That guy was cool. He stood up for Brittany Murphy’s character, Tai, when she was held over the ledge of the upstairs railing at a mall. He gallantly pushed the two jerk guys who thought it funny. 

            If Christian was “gay”, gay seemed like the way to go.

            Coincidentally, a few years later, before the advent of my first girlfriend, there was a period of about two weeks when I seriously considered if I was gay or not. There was no evidence to speak of, but because I didn’t think all men looked yucky (think Brad Pitt or George Clooney at the time), I debated if other penises were in my romantic future. I guess I thought of being gay as a conscious commitment, like buying those orange/baggy cargo pants with a million little pockets down the sides. No one bought them unless they really wanted them.

            For the record, I wanted those orange/baggy cargo pants but never ended up purchasing them.

            I felt similarly about my choice with being gay—just didn’t make the purchase.

            (Go easy on me, I’m joking—I was 10-12 when I thought things worked this way.)

            Now, in the year 2022, I understand that Christian’s character from Clueless was a parody of 1950’s movie stars. He was a combination of members of the Rat Pack, with the wardrobe and slicked back hair donned by Marlon Brando. He even drove around in an old Nash Metropolitan, a car sold in 1953. All his lines are faux gangster, something that might have been said in the musical “Guys and Dolls“.

            I also understand now that Clueless is a sharp piece of satire and an homage to another literary work. The film is based on Emma, the famous Jane Austin novel about a young matchmaker proud of her ability to match up close friends and relatives with what she feels is best for them (except, she falls prey to the monsters she makes of them, leading to betrayals, etc). She must become humble, which mostly comes from the subtly flirtatious encounters of an older gentleman in her life (Paul Rudd’s character Josh in the Clueless) who wins her heart and ends her single-hood, as all romantic comedies must.

            The only thing that wasn’t lost on me at 10-years-old was that everyone in the movie didn’t look like sophomores in high school. They looked much older, much more mature than they ought to have been.

            Oh yeah! That, and the item donated to Cher during the canned good drive was pretty obvious. Some have said it was a bong, but I know that it was, in fact, a potato shredder (similar to a pencil sharpener, but for potatoes). They existed in the 90s (it did not) and were a dangerous kitchen utensil.

            Of that, I was correct at 10-years-old and still maintain that’s what the tinny device sorted as “Kitchen wear” was used for.

            Why else keep it in the kitchen?

***

EVO 2022

            I’ll be brief: this past weekend was EVO 2022, the premiere fighting game tournament held in Las Vegas, Nevada every year. It’s a storied tournament that was particularly eventful this year for several reasons, many of which deserve its own post on this website. So, this Saturday Sunday at 8 PM, I’ll be posting an essay of this year’s event and the storylines that unfolded.

            Look out for that Saturday Sunday @ 8PM EST (Sorry all, put the wrong day! Sunday instead of Saturday)

***

  1. “Tomorrow” by Young the Giant
  2. “Too Dramatic” by Ra Ra Riot
  3. “About Damn Time” by Lizzo

***

Wishing everyone as well as you can be. You’re not alone out there,

August 10, 2022 0 comments
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Weekly Post-Ed #37

by Robert Hyma July 19, 2022
written by Robert Hyma

A TALE OF MILWAUKEE

I took a two-day trip to Milwaukee for two reasons: to get away from West Michigan and experience someplace else for a short while, and to meet a girl. I did both. And while writing this Weekly Post-Ed and describing my experiences, I felt that what I wrote wasn’t quite as true as the journals I kept during my time there. I was writing in a way that portrayed Milwaukee as mundane or uninteresting, which was far from the truth. There were mundane aspects about the trip: the drive was fine, the hotel was fine, the girl was – to put it nicely – fine. So, what gives? I traveled to some place I’ve never seen before, enamored with its architecture and history, a culture that was bustling and interwoven between every race, class, shape, and construct, like a fine soup streaming through the busy sidewalks of the city.

            And yet, I was writing about these experiences with a certain expectation after the fact;

            I was hoping for something cathartic to happen to me while I was there.

            Maybe I was supposed to run into an interesting group of people who would invite me to a party and offset how I saw the world up until that point, or that I might bump into someone in a coffee shop that was intrigued by me. No such things happened, of course, and I’ve sat at my computer for the past few days pondering what exactly to make of my time in Milwaukee.

            But maybe this isn’t such a complicated problem. I journaled all of my experiences on the road. The problem is that the length of these writings, even cut and pasted together, is a bit long for a Weekly Post-Ed. So, I’m going to compile these entries into a travelogue about what happened in Milwaukee.

            If you can’t wait for the juicy details, here’s a rundown of what happened:

  1. Drove for 4.5 hours straight until arriving in Milwaukee.
  2. Checked into the Drury Plaza Hotel
  3. Walked the streets downtown, saw the river, saw Lake Michigan from the other side (looked similar, really).
  4. Had a date that evening with someone I’ve talked with sparsely from a dating app.
  5. Went to bed.
  6. Spent most of the following day in my hotel, exhausted from a variety of factors (the lingering fatigue of my previous bout with Covid as one of them).
  7. Walked the streets of Milwaukee on a Monday—fun fact, most everything is closed on Mondays in Milwaukee
  8. Had a second date with the same girl; regretted not kissing her when I should have.
  9. Slept early.
  10.  Had brunch with this same date. No kiss, again. Regretted it, again.
  11.  Drove 4.5 hours home.

            And somewhere in there was supposed to be this grand, ubiquitous breakthrough that would provide the foundation for a summer I’ve deemed as a fresh start, a way of cleansing the old for the new.

            What I found was that all of this did unfold on the trip, just not in the way I expected.

            In fact, I wrote it during my time in the hotel:

“I wouldn’t call it boredom, but there is a feeling of, “Is this all?” And, yes, I think that’s right. This is likely all, and the fun travelers have is the fun they make for themselves.”

            The Milwaukee 2022 Travelogue will be posted this weekend. Keep an eye out for that!

***

PHOTOBOMBING

            There was a social experiment done at the University of Florida with a photography class. The class was split into two groups: the first group was told they were to be graded on QUANTITY—meaning, they were to take as many photos as possible for the best grade. The second group was told their grade would be based on QUALITY—or deciding upon a select group of photos that best exhibited their skills.

            The results of the experiment showed two things: first, that the QUANTITY group not only produced more photos, but that the quality of their photos was better. This was because the pressure to produce a select number of photos to be excellent didn’t exist. The QUANTITY group could take as many photos as they liked and the freedom to experiment led to considerably better results.

            The QUALITY group, by contrast, produced a significantly smaller number of photographs. Since the grade was about excellence, the students in this group did not take excess photos that would, as a result, push the boundaries of what they knew currently about photography. In short, the QUALITY group played it safe in order to appease the professor, which led to a stunting of growth with their photography skills and the photographs suffered as a result.

            The lesson that has been derived from this social experiment is that with more QUANTITY, it follows there will also be more QUALITY.

            Now, I wrote all of that to say that my experiences with dating apps DOES NOT FOLLOW these findings whatsoever.

            I’ve been online dating for 13 months (on and off, of course). Over that period, I’ve been on dates with 22 different women. Before this era of dating, I went on a grand total of 3 dates as a teenager and into my early college years, two of these dates developed into serious, long-term relationships (one a brief marriage), and I thought I was doing fairly well in terms of finding romantic partners that connected and resonated with me.

            By contrast, the past year has introduced me to dates with such staggering backgrounds and belief systems that I’m often left speechless by stories that I could never fathom to make up as a writer (believe me, I have tried—these stories are much more complex and surprising).

            My ultimate goal with dating is to find a meaningful, long-term relationship. And after 13 months, I have to ask: what’s been going wrong over the past year? Why haven’t I found a serious connection?

            In short: I don’t know.

            And after reading books, articles, and constantly introspecting on the matter…I don’t think anyone does.

            It appears we’re living in an era where genuine connection is a trial in and of itself.

            But I’ve certainly had a QUANTITY of dates (22 women in just over 52 weeks is a potent sample size in the greater dating world). So why hasn’t this led to better QUALITY in dates?

            First, I think bad luck plays a bigger role in the dating world than it does with a skill that can be improved over time like, say, photography. Dating certainly depends on many elements not in your control: natural chemistry, a person’s background/belief system/social ability, which leads to how open and communicative they are as dates, as well as a willingness to keep curious and want to know more about another person. This listing doesn’t account for other social conventions such as access to to instant gratification that has become available – oh, I don’t know – EVERYWHERE in the modern age (streaming services, social media, the internet and the never-ending wealth of information available instantly and from wherever to name a few).

            Since all of these variables are ever-shifting, it makes the practice of dating something impossible to master since you aren’t playing with a full deck of cards most nights.

            To take the photography example from above a bit further: it’s the equivalent of snapping a photo, but the resulting image is either distorted or that objects shifted in the background without warning. Can you imagine? A tree branch moves in the way of a crimson sunset, a sandhill appears blurry – not because of the camera settings, but just – you know – because it can. 

            Essentially, everything in the image can “PhotoBomb”—the act of jumping in front, garnering attention, or taking away from the intended intention of the photo by some means.

            That about wraps up what online dating feels like—a giant Photobomb that gets in the way of a genuine connection. Oh, things might have gone well except for (and I’ve experienced all of these and more):

  • “I have a close relationship with my ex, I hope it’s not weird that I sometimes go to his house to spend the night when I need to get things off my chest. He’s such a great listener…”
  • “I’m sorry, but I’m looking for someone that is seeking a relationship with Jesus like I am. It doesn’t seem like you go to church three nights a week like I do…”
  • “I don’t trust men. I’ve had a string of bad relationships, the last guy cheated on me with three different girls, and I just don’t see the good in them anymore. Anyway, I’m glad we’re on this date; how was your day?”
  • And on and on and on it goes…

            How does it feel to be on the dating scene for just over a year without the ultimate goal of a serious relationship?

            Picture that scene from the original Jumanji when Robin William’s character emerges from the board game and looks like a wild man who has survived the wilderness of a jungle that should have killed him since he was a kid.

            Yeah, that’s the psyche of someone who has online dated for too long.

            That’s why I take breaks. If not for my own sanity, but to remind myself that the results do not necessarily reflect the person. Will more practice lead to better results? Not really, but I like to think I gain something else with the more dates I go on.

            I have Twenty-Two unique stories to tell, each one of them more unique than the last. Each felt promising but was inevitably photobombed by something unexpected. If you think about it, 22 dates without coming close to a functional fit is quite the streak to be on.

            I should put together a photo album someday of all these experiences. Then, after this journey is said and done, I’ll pull out the album show a friend who wonders why I would ever keep such old, ugly things.

            “Why would you keep any of this?” she would ask as I flipped the plastic pages to the next story.

            And I’d shrug.

            Because I didn’t know what else to do with them.

***

“Wonderful Life” by Two Door Cinema Club

“Ramona” by Jukebox the Ghost

“Out of Style” by The Wrecks

***

Wishing everyone as well as you can be. You’re not alone out there,

July 19, 2022 0 comments
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Weekly Post-Ed #26

by Robert Hyma March 17, 2022
written by Robert Hyma

A HERITAGE CLASSIC

            Last Sunday, the 2022 Heritage Classic was held in Hamilton, Ontario between the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Buffalo Sabres. The Heritage Classic was the first in outdoor games to be hosted during the NHL regular season, a tradition that has kept on and has since grown to include the Stadium Series and the New Year’s Day Winter Classic, bringing hockey back to its roots as a sport that began on frozen lakes and ponds.

            One of the greater attractions to this year’s Heritage Classic was the inclusion of the NHL’s greatest player, Wayne Gretzky, as one the commentators during the game. While most hockey commentating includes feverish and passionate play-by-play calls and insightful color commentary about a recent play on the ice, this was an opportunity to spend 2.5 hours with the greatest there ever was (the all-time scoring leader in points, assists, and goals).

            Like a cherished storyteller sitting around a campfire, Wayne Gretzky told stories about what it was like playing in his early days, how his father collected every piece of memorabilia – not with the intention of auctioning it off, but just because he loved his son. He spoke about how flat the curve of his hockey stick was, that he found it easiest to pass without having to worry about shooting wrist shots or snap shots; everyone else could score if he could pass them the puck, he figured. If he had to shoot, he preferred a slap shot, something that was easier with a flattened curve. He spoke about players of the past, ones that have since passed away like Dale Hawerchuk, and stories of playing on that legendary Edmonton Oilers team in the 1980s that included the likes of Mark Messier, Jari Kurri, and Paul Coffey.

            Even his co-commentators (that included Eddie Olczyk, Kieth Jones, and play-by-play commentary of Kenny Alberts) took the opportunity to turn away from the scheduled game – which was a fairly entertaining matchup between a playoff-bound/struggling Toronto Maple Leafs team and a near-bottom-of-the-standings Buffalo Sabres group – to become fans themselves.

            By the first intermission, I think most of the Heritage Classic viewership thought the game was secondary to the man on the microphone, and we were all fine with it.

Just because I love the process of logo-making, this infographic explains all the chosen elements that went into the 2022 Heritage Classic logo.

            I think what was the most astounding about Wayne Gretzky on Sunday was just how humble and heartwarming he was throughout his stories. He had a genuine care for the players and the game, was happy to share any story asked of him. Two and half hours flew by and, if it wasn’t for the frenzied final 3-minutes of the hockey game, most of us would have forgotten about the final horn and that the game was over.

            I was thankful the NHL scheduled an official hockey game in the background while we all listened to campfire conversations with Wayne Gretzky. Hopefully, next time the guest commentator isn’t someone considered the GOAT. You know, a regular player, maybe someone like Mario Lemieux, just in case we wanted to watch the outdoor game instead.

            Jeez, there’s always next year.

***

SOFT STONE

            While sitting for my haircut, the stylist talked about her daughter selling chakra bracelets. I’m never assigned the same stylist twice (because I’m a beatnick when it comes to scheduling haircuts and simply call a day or two before in order to schedule one), and the conversations that start with these complete stranger always mystify me—not so much in what comes about, but in what people are willing to share with complete strangers. So, as I sat in the chair, being pumped to the correct height for a scissor cut, my stylist spoke about her daughter’s latest business venture selling these bracelets.

            “They’re made of a soft stone,” the stylist kept telling me, which was a point she made sure was emphasized. “I didn’t believe in all that spirituality stuff, but then it started to rain and the evil was coming out of my bracelet.”

            I blinked. “The evil was coming out of your bracelet?”

            “Yeah. My daughter warned me not to get it wet because I was a wearing a soft stone, but I didn’t believe her. All the sudden, my wrist started feeling funny, and my daughter ripped off the bracelet and told me it was the evil coming out.”

            Baffled, I asked, “What evil?”

            “Oh, I don’t know, but you don’t want to know. Anyway, my daughter ripped it off because I couldn’t get it wet.”

            “The soft stone?”

            “Right, the soft stone.”

            “So, why wear the bracelet if the evil comes out of it?”

            “It only comes out when it gets wet. It’s a soft stone.”

            The conversation died here as I wished her daughter luck on her venture, but I think I was defeated by this point in my day.

            You see, three hours earlier, I was in another chair, this one an optometrist at an eyeglasses chain store (once again, I chose this establishment to get an appointment on the quick). While examining a throbbing pump on my eyelid with her robotics (which is what medieval torture dungeons must have appeared as long ago), the lady optometrist turned my head in the light and reached her naked fingertip towards my eye.

            “Umm,” I protested, “shouldn’t you be wearing a glove if you’re going to touch my eye?”

            “I just washed my hands,” she said, as if this sufficed for reason to touch a complete stranger’s eyeball. “Why, would it make you feel better if I wore a glove?”

            “Yes,” I said.

            And with a unabashed harrumph, she put on Latex and continued the operation, much less diligently than I had liked—she prodded my eye like a squishy fidget toy for children.

            Back in the present, I looked to my stylist in the mirror, silently Clip, Clip, Clipping my hair. Here were two capable adults, a stylist employed to use a pair sharp sheers and an optometrist in charge of tending to one of the more sensitive and complex of human organs (the eyeball), and yet I was nearly poked with a purely-manicured finger and told about the evil that spawns from a wetted Chakra bracelet.

            I looked at myself in the mirror, my hair seemed to be cut uneven on one side. I might have protested, but instead I sighed and looked to my stylist snip, snip, snipping away and said, “It was a soft stone?”

            “Oh yes, a soft stone.”

            “I’ll take one,” I said.

            “Oh, she’s all sold out.”

            “Just my luck.”

            “Oh, they’re not for luck. It’s a–“

            “I know. A soft stone.”

            I’m not sure what that lesson is here, but I feel it is important to state that I learned one.

            Whatever it was.

            And I’ll be sure to call ahead in the future, just in case that helps, too.

***

  • “Born on a Train” by Samia & Rachael Jenkins
  • “Move Me” by Half-Alive
  • “Fisher Island Sound” by Beirut

***

Wishing everyone as well as you can be. You’re not alone out there,

March 17, 2022 0 comments
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| Weekly Post-Eds |

Weekly Post-Ed #22

by Robert Hyma January 11, 2022
written by Robert Hyma

AGDQ 2022

https://www.twitch.tv/gamesdonequick

            Perhaps you’ve experienced this before: you hear about something again, maybe you’ve forgotten about it for a long time, but the moment you hear of it there’s this immediate elation, that feeling that so much good can come because of it?

            (I can hear some of yours answers: kids after picking them up from daycare, Thai food, reruns of the hit show The Big Bang Theory). 

            What’s that thing for me?

            It’s a marathon charity event called Awesome Games Done Quick. 

            For those of you that don’t know, Awesome Games Done Quick is a week-long charity event featuring some of the best speedrunners from around the world (people who play video games in the quickest manner possible depending on the category—think: beating Super Mario Bros. 3 in under 2 minutes!). It’s a 24/7 online event streamed over 7 days over at Twitch.tv showcasing some of the best runs of video games, all the while raising money for the Prevent Cancer Foundation. Historically, the event has raised an average of 2 million dollars per event, all of which goes to charity and a good cause.

            What makes Awesome Games Done Quick such a wholesome spectacle is it’s commitment to two great mediums: a showcase of some of the most talented people in the world demonstrating their craft, and also that of a group of people coming together to do some good in the world. And after the beginning of the New Year, when signs of abandoned resolutions and the bitter uptick in wintry weather begins, there’s no better place to look for goodness than those institutions that come around to remind us of joy and community working towards something greater.

            Unfortunately, the event will be remote this year again due to the newest resurgence of Covid-19, but none of that detracts from the mission of putting on a good show. AGDQ is truly unique in that people from every walk of life tune in, either to bask in the once-upon-a-time glory of nostalgia, or to support a favorite streamer or game being featured. Tens of thousands watch at any given moment during the 7-day marathon, taking the time to donate and connect through an event that blasts through bandwidth every January.

            Here is a sampling of noteworthy runs I’m looking forward to this week:

            AGDQ 2022 airs January 9-15. Below is a link to the Twitch.tv stream. You can check out the schedule of games being played here.

***

DATES & DETAILS #1

            [This is the beginning of a new segment called Dates & Details where I give short anecdotes of things I’ve experienced while online dating over the past few months. These aren’t exactly stories, more like small happenings that I’ve found peculiar and worth writing about. I’ll post about these experiences from time to time when they arise, starting with this first segment below about matching up with others…]

Refuted Match

            I’ve seen this a few times where someone attempts to match with me through a comment that disputes something I had put on my dating profile. The most recent example was someone who responded with “It takes more than 2 days to travel across the country by train.”

            So, in hopes of helping anyone else who has the idea of refuting a dating profile prompt, here’s my advice: don’t do it. 

            If you’re curious, this woman’s comment was attached to this prompt: Two Truths and a Lie. My answer to this prompt was: 

“1.) Once took a two-day train ride across the country…in coach, 2.) Hockey player, 3.) Discovered Uranium.” 

            Not a bad prompt answer, but not the greatest. However, quality is mostly beside the point. Other than following the rule: “don’t be boring, be specific,” the point of a prompt is act as an ice-breaker, something that gets the conversation started. Answers are not facts, nor are they intended to be. I’m not writing my Wikipedia page on a dating profile, I’m just trying to catch your eye about something. Likewise, if someone has photos of themselves skydiving, it doesn’t mean they are avid skydivers or know the mechanics of jumping out of small aircraft like an expert…it’s just something they did once and thought interesting to share. Photos of adventure seekers are saying, “I like adventures and want someone who also enjoys this sort of thing, are you someone like me?”

            That’s because prompts are really segues into the bigger discussion of, “Do we have chemistry or not?” Which, in my own personal experience, is only discovered once out on an actual date.

            So, what was this person doing by refuting my prompt? What was the play?

            I think someone who needs to refute the “accuracy” of something said on a dating profile isn’t trying to connect with someone at all; they are being confrontational for their own sake. It’s an insecurity, which is often why people attack one another. I’m guessing this person has had little luck with getting responses and is going on the attack because nothing else is working. It could be bitterness, it could be a lot of things, but when there’s a lack of curiosity when reaching out to someone new, there’s also a lack of confidence, and it says much more about you (the attacker) than it does me (the dating prospect).

            In my opinion, when you refute a part of someone’s dating profile, it also disqualifies you as a candidate for a date (which, get this, is the point of a dating app). You’re not going to change anyone’s mind about what they said in the prompt. Even if someone wrote, “I once traveled to the capital of Michigan, Detroit, and hated it,” by telling someone, “Uh, the capital of Michigan is actually Lansing,” is not going to change their answer. And really, as an experienced dating app user, you should have learned enough about this person based on the incorrect location of where he/she thinks the capital of Michigan is, so the answer is to move along to the next person anyway.

            Online dating isn’t about “being right”, it’s about finding someone compatible with you.

            If you want to be confrontational from the start, what does that say about the potential first date? Am I going to have to defend myself against a chronic fact-checker? Is this person like this always? Refutation is a bad first impression, simply put.

            In my own defense (since I’m willing to share my prompt with all of you), this person read the answer to my prompt incorrectly. She thought I meant, “It only takes two days on a train to travel across the country.” What I actually said was, “I spent two days on a train traveling across the country,” meaning, I spent two days OF TIME on a train traveling across the country. I didn’t mean that was the precise, physical distance a train travels to get to the other side of the country.

            Which, you know, says more about her than it does for me, obviously.

            Then again, I’m the fool writing about this on the internet, so who is really the smart one here?

            Either way, I’ll shrug at this just as I did when deleting her comment and move on my merry way.

***

THE SWITCH TO APPLE MUSIC

            This is likely to be one of the more controversial things I write about, but it must be said bluntly:

            I’ve made the switch from Spotify to Apple Music.

            *Cue the boos and cries of treason here.*

            I know, I know. Such news is scandalous and I’m sure there’s something to answer for…but I just don’t care. I’m not a devoted user of any platform so much as I see the current benefit of using it. I was an Android user for several years but have made the switch to Apple. And not for some fanboy-ism reason, but simply because the platform does what I need it to do right now—I like how everything is integrated between devices.

            So, what was wrong with Spotify? Nothing, it’s a great platform. Apple Music, in my experience, just sounds better on an Apple Device, and (whether this is imagined or not) that’s really the only reason for the switch. Spotify has a better interface, easier music liking features, better sharing capabilities, and the catered playlists are pretty damned good, too. 

            But I like the uptick in sound quality I have with Apple Music, so I’ll stay this route for a while longer.

            So, with that, I’ll shrug at all the ill will about which platform to support (supposing a thing should ever be important on this website—I don’t care either way). I like what I like, and that’s all there is to it.

            What matters, really, is finding new music, which continues below with some great new finds. Here’s the list this week and a new graphic to go with it:

  1. “Get Up” by Mother Mother
  2. “Lights & Music” by Cut Copy
  3. “Beautiful Life” by Michael Kiwanuka

***

Wishing everyone as well as they can be. You’re not alone out there,

January 11, 2022 0 comments
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