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| Weekly Post-Eds |

WP#76: The Mysterious Case of the Embittered Speedrun Critic

by Robert Hyma July 13, 2024
written by Robert Hyma
Weekly Post-Ed #76 featured image. A font drawn to look wooden logs, over a flat background of pine trees, mountains, and a night sky with stars.

TEN YEARS A VIEWER…

This was my tenth year watching the charity marathon Summer Games Done Quick. The novelty of watching speedrunners is like watching magic for the first time. “You can beat Super Mario Bros. how fast??”

And behold the wizardry of a speedrunner with a NES controller, the run button pressed the entire duration of the game as Mario avoids death pits and chomping piranha plants sprouting from pipes with precision jumps. In the span of a healthy bathroom break, what seemed an impossible game to beat in childhood concludes with King Bowser falling into a lava pit as “Time!” is called.

It’s a staple to watch each year, and I do so out of a childhood love of all things video games and donating to great charities…but I admit that I feel more and more disconnected from the event after each year. What began as a cleared schedule to watch an entire week’s worth of gamers destroy every video game imaginable, I’ve become a bit of an art speedrun snob. I now watch the event an or so at a time, mostly to check out new games that have just released (like the recent Elden Ring DLC) or new speedruns that have yet to debut at the event (like the optimized Super Mario RPG Remake speedrun).

As for the games I found less than enticing to tune in for, I was surprisingly condescending before turning my attention elsewhere:

“Another Super Metroid race? Psht, didn’t they have that last year?”

“OOT again? Well, who’s the featured runner? Ugh, don’t care…”

“Another speedrunner with a couch of commentators spewing pessimism and sarcasm in place of actual humor or interesting commentary? Kill me.”

Meanwhile, I’m consciously aware of the incredible skill required to play these games at such high levels. Learning a speedrun, especially the kinds that are heavy with technical tricks and frame perfect button inputs, takes hundred and thousands of hours to master. The act of beating these games in front of tens of thousands of viewers is objectively impressive. 

So, why was the magic of speedrunning suddenly not enough? Why place the added criticism for a run to be new, technically impressive, AND entertaining to be worth my time?

That’s when I considered every other area of my life that has been upsold to be even “better”.

***

IYKYK

Is it enough to buy a computer? Or, should it be the best computer with the latest chipset and processor and screen?

What about art? Is it enough to be satisfied with the act of making something, or should we constantly compare ourselves, and settle for nothing less than worldwide fame?

What about romantic relationships? Should we settle for the person we’re currently seeing, or is there someone else out there who is even better?

In each scenario, there’s a perceived upsell in value: Having a better version of something—really, anything—must mean it is more valuable/meaningful/beautiful/worthwhile.

Except, what is the criteria for better?

When buying a computer, are the best specs really necessary? I was at the Apple Store recently and asked a Genius worker what the difference in performance was between the M3 Pro and M3 Max chipset in MacBook Pros. If you’ve read that last sentence and are already lost, then you understand the futility of shopping for the best of the best. As the Apple Genius said, “If you’re asking about the difference between the Pro and the Max, you probably don’t need the Max. If you know, then you know.”

Does fame help with making art? Never mind the debate about what constitutes good versus bad art, does volume and accolades really help? I’d argue it doesn’t outside of exposure. Fame is recognition from the outer world, whereas art is an investigation of the inner world. The only crossover is how the outer world impacts the inner world, which is the only impact fame makes when making more art (Again: IFYKYK).

As for relationships, I don’t think there’s a crisis of dubious or manipulative partners out there. No one enters into a romantic relationship with ulterior motives to use and discard someone—they just want something that works for them. The pitfalls of modern dating, in short summation, are in imagining a narrative in which our wants and needs can be theoretically met better by other people. 

In each scenario, we create a story in which we need the better person/inspiration/product. When I think of upselling, I think of skeevy salespeople trying to work a better deal from a customer. However, it’s worth remembering that the skeeviest salesman is, often, ourselves.

So, really: IYKYK.

***

SELF-CORRECTING CRITICISM

The comedian Neal Brennan has a fantastic joke in his Netflix special Crazy Good. He says: 

“In your 20s you’re going to realize you have emotional problems. And then in your 30s you’re going to be like, ‘I’m going to solve my emotional problems.’ And then in your 40s you’re going to be like, ‘It’s a shame I never did solve those emotional problems.’”

I forgot to mention much of my behaving like a critic towards SGDQ 2024 was only at the start of the charity marathon. By the end of the final night, Summer Games Done Quick felt like the Closing Ceremonies of the Olympic Games, comprised of every conceivable walk of life gathered together in celebration. And I was watching with full support.

What changed mind? A memory from watching SGDQ for the first time all those years ago.

I showed a friend a few highlights from the event. My friend is a gamer, too, and we grew up playing Mario and Donkey Kong and all the classics, so I thought his jaw would drop just as mine did after witnessing a speedrun. But after watching Super Mario. Bros. bested in under 10 minutes (a primitive version of the video above) my friend said, “What a waste to spend your life learning a useless skill. No one is going to care that you can beat Mario so fast.”

I was stunned. My friend loved video games; where was this criticism coming from? All these years later, I get it: His inner salesperson made an upsell: “There’s a better way of living life.”

What’s astounding about my friend’s response is the irony: Of course there was value in speedrunning video games; why else would I show him the video if there was none? Clearly, it has worth sharing.

And that’s the real magic trick with anything worth pursuing: True value comes from what is shared with others.

  • The computer is meaningless until we form a relationship with it; that’s why it’s difficult to trade in or throw away a product we’ve used for years (like selling an old car).
  • The artist isn’t successful because of the art—value emerges through the relationship with an audience.
  • Romantic partners are difficult to replace for numerous reasons, but the meaning of the ones we are with exist because of the moments and memories we’ve made with them.

“What’s the point in learning a useless skill?” 

Nothing—only the pleasure gleaned from practicing the skill and the connection it brings to others.

By the finale speedrun of SGDQ 2024, it was impossible to ignore how vast and powerful this community has become when coming together under a common cause. The event has become a sort of gameshow: donation incentives are all about adding content and hours to the event itself, resulting in FOMO—no one wants to miss out on the hot commodity runs gatekept behind high dollar amounts. And this is a good thing! It’s exciting to watch the status bars of added games hit 100% and the cathartic cheer of the live audience cheering, like high schoolers in a gymnasium, “Let’s go Twitch Chat! Let’s go Twitch Chat!”

And by the end of the event, one cannot help but want to be a part of it, too. Even from afar.

Maybe that’s why the marathon raises upwards of 2 million dollars per event. It’s a monetary measurement of togetherness.

***

A banner with a title: Spotify Weekly Finds.
  1. “The Hopeful Kind” by Spuddy
  2. “Every Other Night” by Peter Bjorn and John
  3. “Drastic Measures” by Bayonne

***

Wishing everyone as well as you can be. You’re not alone out there,

The signature and website logo of Roberthymawrites.com that includes a calligraphic "R" following by a signature.
July 13, 2024 0 comments
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| Weekly Post-Eds |

Weekly Post-Ed #56

by Robert Hyma May 31, 2023
written by Robert Hyma

HAIR ENTANGLEMENT THEORY

A little side observation before getting to the guts of this Weekly Post-Ed: There are a lot of English idioms having to do with HAIR. Here are a few:

  • A bad HAIR day
  • By a HAIR’s length
  • Getting in someone’s HAIR
  • Having your HAIR stand on end (turns out it was always END instead of IN, which makes much more sense visually after having looked up these expressions—the more you know)
  • Tearing one’s HAIR out

And on and on and on.

HAIR is a fascinating characteristic of human beings. And clearly, HAIR is so important that it expresses sentiment like no other body part could. 

  • A bad MOUTH day? | Nah.
  • Tearing one’s FINGERNAILS out? | Ouch, no thanks.
  • Crawling into one’s…

Well, you get the point.

Lately, I’ve come to appreciate HAIR in a different way. To one-two-skip-a-few my way past some central details, I’m currently in a romantic relationship (or, maybe I mean a romantic entanglement? You know, because HAIR gets tangled and so do our romantic lives…they en-tangle? Get it? Fine, I’ll drop it…). And in those early stages of dating, we start to wonder when things are official. How does anyone know they’ve been dating long enough to be in a relationship?

It’s an awkward classification. No one wants to come out and ask, “Hey, would you like to be my girlfriend now?” Not cool. In fact, there’s such a debate about how the current dating scene enters into relationships that the topic is avoided altogether. Dates with the same partner can go on and on, stretching past half a year without any signifier in place. Sure, your date comes to family events at this point, hangs out with your friends, and all the steps of “getting serious” have been checked off…but when a friend asks, “Is that your girlfriend?”

You reply, “I don’t know.”

This is called a situationship—a purposely undefined relationship that has all the fixings of normal couplehood…but without the finicky mess when two people break up and it doesn’t hurt as much?

I’m not really sure what the point of the situationship is. To me, they don’t really exist—it’s just a crudely veiled couple doing couple-things and we all know what’s going on (much like a five-year-old when asked what just broke in other room where they were playing says, “I don’t know.”)

Right—we all know.

“It’s 2023,” you say (yes, YOU—thanks for interrupting, jeez). “Why do we even need labels?”

We don’t. Good point. But I just wanna know if people are together, don’t you? 

Dating today is like binge watching a new show that has you hooked—at a certain point, you just want the love interest to get together because you can’t take the suspense any longer.

“Just kiss already!” you scream at the romantic comedy playing out before your eyes. “I get that I’m watching four episodes at a time for a show that was meant to be consumed weekly, but it’s killing me! Just kiss! Come on!”

Yeah, that’s how it feels when it appears obvious things are progressing well with a new romantic partner.

Luckily, there is another way of knowing a relationship is on the right track, and it has to do with HAIR.

I would wager that most of us have experienced this very thing: When a relationship is getting serious, there is suddenly a significant amount of HAIR from your significant other all over the place. It starts sticking to clothes after a date, which is cute, but then the entire thing turns into a full-blown springtime HAIR pollination. Soon, HAIR finds its way under your clothes, in wallets and purses, in the bathroom sink, or tangled (en-tangled? Right, right) in jewelry/watches/earrings. It sticks to car seats, ends up in leftovers from the night before, and is found in crevices and corners of the house where this person has yet to tread!

Soon, there’s no escaping it—this person’s HAIR clings to you, like some cosmically connected puppet strings.

That’s because, my friend, this is the Universe’s way of informing that you two are, officially, together.

Ever hear of string theory? Right, well this is basically the same thing—but with HAIR and romantic couples. It’s called Hair Entanglement Theory. It’s very scientific.

Yup.

So, the next time HAIR starts appearing in all the randomest places (including the inside of the coffee filter or spontaneously caught in your mouth), you will know why. Nature is quite literally entangling (I know, enough with the puns, but this one feels passable) you with this other person.

It’s like an unconscious marking-of-territory…but with HAIR.

And I love it. It’s endearing. For now. I assume it stays that way. Always? Yes…I think…maybe.

But in the meantime, feel free to sound off in the comments about the most bitchin’ of lint rollers!

***

AND NOW THE TEARS COME…

About this new website look: Perhaps you’ve noticed a slight aesthetic change while scrolling through this Weekly Post-Ed. If it looks familiar, you may have heard of this little game that came out recently, The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s fine. It’s just this little arthouse game developed by a little-known publisher from a little known country for little-to-no fanfare and—

Oh forget it: IF YOU HAVEN’T HEARD ABOUT THIS GAME, YOU’VE BEEN UNDER A ROCK—ONE WITHOUT A HIDDEN KOROK!

“Ya hah ha! You found me!”
Courtesy of The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

The latest iteration of The Legend of Zelda is the most surprising sequel in that it exceeds the puzzle-solving, creative mechanics of the previous game, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, in almost every way. The game takes every element of world exploration and ratches it up to new heights (both in the sky and below ground). Never has a sequel been so anticipated to be lackluster before launch and has completely knocked the socks off of anyone who has played it.

Yeah, it’s a big friggin’ deal, this game.

So, in celebration of the new Zelda title, I hope you all enjoy The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom website makeover, complete with new logo and original artwork. It was time to freshen up the website, something blossoming with the life of spring and summer (which, if you live in Michigan, has been tragically absent the past two months—until this past week, coincidentally). There’s no better video game homage to nature and how integrated the inhabitants of this world are connected through its influence than The Legend of Zelda series.

Take a moment to browse the new logo and accompanying artwork below!

***

SUMMER REUNION DONE QUICK 2023

Courtesy of TheYetee.com

It’s that special time of summer: Summer Games Done Quick 2023. For those in the know, SGDQ is a 7-day charity event streaming on Twitch.tv showcasing speedruns of games new and old. The event raises money for MSF (Doctors Without Borders) and has since raised nearly 40-million dollars throughout the event’s history for charities around the world. Not only that, it’s an event that brings together the gaming community for a great cause while celebrating tentpole gaming series such as: Super Mario Bros, Sonic the Hedghog, Super Metroid, Mega Man, The Legend of Zelda, Dark Souls, and so much more.

TL;DR: SGDQ 2023 is simply a very entertaining way to spend an hour or two watching the best Speedrunners in the world showcase some old favorites and newly released games receiving the speedrun treatment.

Since I don’t have exact numbers, I’m going to say this is my tenth year tuning into Games Done Quick events (although, I could look through my collection of event T-shirts bought from by TheYetee.com—please check out their designs for SGDQ 2023; they make the best shirts *smiles*). While I’m always excited for the marathon to begin, I find that I tune in less and less throughout the seven-day event each year. This isn’t a knock on event organizers or the games on offer—instead, I think my sensibilities have changed. When I first stumbled across this event, the shock of seeing the original Super Mario Bros. beaten in 30-minutes was unthinkably fast—just some guy holding down the run button and evading every lava pit and koopa-troopa on screen en route to beating a game in under a half hour, something that I never could do during my entire childhood.

And after ten years of watching, I’ve seen my favorite games speedrun(ran?) multiple times. While I’m still hankering to donate, grab the event T-shirt, and support a great cause with a fantastic gaming community, I find I am not willing to visit as often as before.

At this juncture, GDQ Events feel like a family reunion that you’ve attended every year and are considering skipping for this next time.

Then again, this is FAMILY we’re talking about, so maybe buck it up and pay a little visit just to show everyone that, yes, you still love them.

(This became SLIGHTLY autobiographical, but I think the same theme rings true for both.)

What I’m most excited for, now, is watching the latest batch of time-saves and shaved minutes off of previous my favorite games that haven’t appeared in the marathon for a few years. For example, when I first watched the Luigi’s Mansion 100% speedrun from six years ago, the estimated time was around 1 hour 34 minutes. As of Sunday evening, the time it took to complete the game was down to 1 hour 9 minutes. It’s inspiring to see communities of players discover new tricks and tactics to games that were released 20+ years ago. And the quest to find even more is still going on.

Whatever way you slice SGDQ 2023 – if tuning in for the first time or are a veteran viewer of the marathon – it’s an event that always gives. Whether this means viewers contributing donations for the first time, testimonials about how much finding a community of friends meant from attending, or tickling that nostalgia fancy with all those games from growing up, SGDQ 2023 offers something for everyone.

Plus, like family, you’re always welcome back for the yearly get-together. No strings attached.

Here are the runs that I’m looking forward to for the remainder of the week (NOTE: These are the times as of this writing–they are bound to fluctuate throughout the event, so keep an eye on the up-to-date schedule here)

***

  1. “Little Boxes” by Walk Off the Earth
  2. “Pink Chateau” by In The Valley Below
  3. “Solar Power – Spotify Singles” by Glass Animals

***

Wishing everyone as well as you can be. You’re not alone out there,

May 31, 2023 0 comments
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| Weekly Post-Eds |

Weekly Post-Ed #48

by Robert Hyma November 5, 2022
written by Robert Hyma

WALKIES AND TALKIES

While I haven’t finished my first playthrough of one Mario+Rabbids: Sparks of Hope, there is a major aspect of the game that stands out apart from gameplay and that is the cutscenes. Cinematically, they are fantastic. However, the biggest gripe I’ve had with the game has to do with usage of dialogue. 

In the original Mario+Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, the only character dialogue outside of the usual Mario-esque sound effects of “Woo-Hoos” and “Yeah-Hahs” of Mario and the others comes from our player-controlled and Roomba-esque robotic guide: Beep-0. Oftentimes, his lines were humorous as well as informative, acting as the main character from which we explored the world of Mario+Rabbids. Beep-0 was our translator, explaining with whimsical observation the eccentricities of the invading Rabbids in the Mushroom Kingdom. 

Fast-forward to the sequel and things have changed. Everything is bigger, shinier, a bit more fleshed out thanks to the success or the original. Now, instead of the adorable character grunts and groans sound effects, many characters are given voiced lines. These lines often take the form of runners, or a series of words that begin a line of dialogue before cutting off as the rest of the line appears on the screen in a dialogue box. This is a tactic that highlights certain words like characters and places or funny reactions, and it’s just to give characters “a little extra” characterization.

I do not think this works for a very specific reason.

Long ago, I enjoyed the LEGO videogames. Because of a lack of budget or what-have-you, characters in LEGO games (LEGO: Batman, LEGO: Star Wars, LEGO: Indiana Jones) did not have voiced lines. Instead, the game was portrayed through glorious silent acting with cartoonish stunts, pantomime, and comical sound effects. And it was marvelous! In an industry saturated with voice acting to drive plot and story forward, here was a series of games that did not need it. Fans knew the story of Star Wars and Indiana Jones, and even the unique telling of a Batman title was not lost on young fans who understood that bad guys were bad, and good guys were trying to stop them.

LEGO Star Wars

Voiced lines did not add to the complexity of the story.

Eventually, all the mainline LEGO titles inserted voiced lines of dialogue, changing the dynamic of what made those earlier games great. Instead of a pantomime, slap-stick driven version of pop culture movies and stories, there was cinema experiences with LEGO characters acting out all the parts.

The formula was inversed and, I’d argue, for the worse.

Unfortunately, the same propagation of voiced lines has begun to erode on the Mario+Rabbids series. If there are more titles in the future, I imagine that with the influence of the soon-to-be released Super Mario Movie that is monstrously dubbed over by Chris Pratt (yeah, not my Mario either) will do away with all sound effect grunts and “Woo-hoos” for voiced lines.

That is, until huge public outcry reverses the cinematic fantasies of Nintendo and the disillusionment that all characters must speak lines to appear more likeable. Then, things may revert to their original voiceless harmony.

I’ve enjoyed Mario+Rabbids: Sparks of Hope tremendously. The other parts of the game aside from creative voice direction makes for a wonderful world to get lost in. However, this one sticking point of “More is Better” with voiced lines of dialogue is not always the case.

Sometimes it changes the nature of what was charming and unique in the first place.

What do you think? Are voiced lines given to normally voiceless characters making for better gaming/movie experiences? As always, I love to read your thoughts in the comments below!

***

BREADCRUMBS

I haven’t written about my ongoing college experience since it began. It’s wild to think I’ve sat through college lectures for ten weeks already. The last that I wrote, I had a tempestuous relationship with a professor who called me Bertie (and still does). My impression of this professor was that he was a performer, someone who spoke to the class like an actor reaching the nosebleeds at the Kennedy Center. He’s charismatic, melodramatic at times, and peculiar in a way that means his tastes for music and culture has not evolved over the past three decades.

I was critical of this professor because I thought he was a chauvinist.

Ten weeks into the semester, I find my initial reactions were true, but there was something else going on that I was unaware of. Strangely, I’ve found his classes are the ones I try hardest in.

In trying to pinpoint why, I think there are two important causes for this uptick in effort. The first is that this professor isn’t boring. Loud? Sure. Boisterous and erringly peculiar? Absolutely. But boring? Not in the slightest. This professor has hidden depths when it comes to the material, and even if his musings about how the novellas we’re critiquing in class often fall on ears too young to understand the ramifications of age and tragedy, it’s clear that he is trying to open up worlds that would be left unexplored.

So, yes, he is a beloved professor by just about all his students because of this charisma.

Perhaps most impressive about this professor is something he performs very technically during his lectures. Where most professors lecture with an air of superiority over students, this professor often stops his train of thought to ask a trivia-esque question. These questions can range from anything like, “Who was the philosopher who coined ‘I think, therefore I am’?” and, “What’s the name of Voldemort’s snake again?”. By doing this, the professor wakes up the class. Everyone is attentive, more involved, and voices speak up to answer the obtuse.

Why?

Breadcrumbs.

This professor is laying breadcrumbs so that we’ll all follow along. Inserting a batch of trivia questions every class that are loosely related to the lecture is like a quick game of sudoku or a New York Times Crossword—something to dust off those old neural pathways and bring up morale.

Not only is it a refreshing break in the pacing of a lecture (which are often monotonous and droning), but it feels good. He’s empowering his students. He’s allowing them to feel more confident so that they might answer the larger conceptual questions that are being asked.

Like a Pavlovian trained dog, I find myself salivating for these trivia questions every class. They’re fun, I feel like I’m smarter than I likely am by answering them, and everyone feels connected and heard trying to figure them out.

I’ve been pleasantly surprised after ten weeks with this professor. I’ve learned that even if my first impressions have remained correct in sizing him up, those impressions are not the totality of what is happening.

The more I attend classes, the more I enjoy seeing the 3-Dimensionality of this place. It’s something I didn’t notice a decade ago when I first took college courses.

***

  1. “666” by Jeremy Messersmith
  2. “F*ck It I Love You” by Oh Wonder
  3. “Smoothie” by corook

***

Wishing everyone as well as you can be. You’re not alone out there,

November 5, 2022 0 comments
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| Weekly Post-Eds |

Weekly Post-Ed #45

by Robert Hyma September 14, 2022
written by Robert Hyma

SPARKS OF REDESIGN

And Voila! A new website redesign is here, this time in the guise of Mario+Rabbids Sparks of Hope. It’s the long-awaited sequel to Mario+Rabbids Kingdom Battle, a funny/farcical take on Mario, Princess Peach, Bowser, and the rest. The Mushroom Kingdom is overrun by Rabbids—derpy, bipedal bunny-like creatures with serious sass and pratfall tendencies. In the original strategy game, Mario must team up with a team of Rabbid lookalikes to battle against an interdimensional onslaught of opposing Rabbids that have teamed up with Bowser. Position your team behind walls and barricades, pick the right combination of weapons and abilities, and outmaneuver the opposing team of villains in this turn-by-turn strategy game full of charm.

            Mario+Rabbids Kingdom Battle brought a humorous take to the world of Super Mario Bros. It was a joy to explore all the environments, solve puzzles, find new weapons and abilities to use in battle. I have little doubt that the sequel will push the boundaries of the strategy RPG (including a recent reveal trailer that Rayman, the hero from the world that the Rabbids originate from, will be added later after release) and will be a must-play title by the end of the year.

            Included below is the new logo of the site and artwork behind the Header: a constellation of Rabbid-Mario characters spread across the night sky, including a classic Rabbid wielding a plunger from the Rayman: Raving Rabbids box art on the left-most side of the canvas. Enjoy the gallery below!

            Mario+Rabbids Sparks of Hope launches October 20, 2022 for Nintendo Switch.

***

LIKE, IT’S JUST, LIKE, TOO MANY LIKES?

            Like, I’m sure someone else has tackled the subject of hearing someone speak with a “like” problem before. Like, you know what I mean. Everything is, like, preceded by the word “like” and, like, it becomes so distracting that, like, I don’t even know what’s being said anymore.

            There is a girl in one of my classes who loves the word “like”. Like, she uses it every third or fourth word, rendering her sentences, like, indecipherable. Like, she means well, but, like, I just lose interest and can’t, like, follow what she’s, like, saying.

            And, like, all the more credit to the professor who, like, is patient with her and nods his head until she’s, like, done speaking. It takes a toll to, like, listen to her, though. Like, the professor, like, coaxes her along with grunts and, like, other hurrying phrases like, “Yeah,” and, “Right,” that, like, is a kind of verbal countdown to, like, hurry the f*** up.

            Like, I’ve been trying to figure out how someone, like, can use the word “like”, like, so much. I assume, like, it’s a nervous tick, a placeholder to give more, like, time to find the right words to, like, say.

            “Right. Yeah.”

            And, like, that isn’t the end of it. Then, like, she ends every sentence as a, like, question? So that, like, no one is, like, sure if she’s asking something instead? So, it, like, becomes a series of higher intonations that, like, becomes more annoying?

            Like, you know?

            “Yeah. Right.”

            So, like, I shut down and can’t, like, keep listening to her. I only hear, like, all the “likes”. And soon I get to wondering if, like, there has ever been any other word used in place of, like, “like”? For myself, I, like, sometimes use “umm” instead of “like”. Like, umm, it gives me time to, like, think of what to say next, so, umm, like, it isn’t as, umm, distracting?

            You know?

            And, like, I’m trying to write about this stuff and, umm, like, does any of this work in, like, umm, writing? 

            “Right. Yeah.” 

            Because, like, umm, I’m trying to put together this Weekly Post-Ed and, like, umm, I’m trying to come up with something decent to say? But, like, I’m writing, umm, like, nothing.

            “Right. Yeah.”

            Umm.

            Like, I don’t want to waste anyone’s, umm, time reading this. You know? Umm. This is, like, supposed to be a place to read something slightly, umm, like, humorous? You know? Like, what if someone, like, reads this and, umm, finds it tedious or ANNOYING, like, and not entertaining?

            Like, is that possible?

            You know?

            I don’t know.

            “Yeah. Right.”

            Maybe I should, like, hurry up. Like, why keep going? Umm, what do you think?

            “Yeah. Right. Ok, let’s move on to another opinion,” says my professor cutting the “like” girl off in the middle of her, like, tangent. 

            And it’s, like, the rightest thing he’s done yet for the class?

            You know?

            “Right. Yeah.”

**

            In all seriousness, no writer has done justice to the word “like” since the poet Taylor Mali. Linked below is his poem “Like Lilly Like Wilson” that he performed on HBO’s Def Poetry. It’s still one of my favorite spoken-word poems and definitely worth the listen:

***

SOME GOOD NEWS

            In a double dose of video game news, Nintendo held a fall Direct, and PlayStation held a State of Play in the same day. Both consoles are deep into their lifespans (with the regrettable price increase for the PS5 that took place recently) and so there’s a large delineation with what products are on offer. With Nintendo, game announcements are mostly tailored towards remakes and ports coming to the console, while the PlayStation game catalogue grows more robust with a console still reaching its performance potential.

            Both companies appeal to different fanbases, and the direction of each news conference is proof of that. Nintendo is maintaining its audience towards the end of the Switch’s lifecycle, while PlayStation is further separating itself with graphically impressive, denser story-driven content.

            Here’s a few highlights I’m looking forward to:

MARIO+RABBIDS SPARKS OF HOPE

            A new trailer debuted yesterday, and showing a charming battle aboard a Wiggler Train, something that I didn’t know I wanted! As I stated above, the game looks fantastic and I can’t wait to play it in the next month.

**

TEKKEN 8

            In a shocking reveal, TEKKEN 8 was revealed with a teaser trailer showing off the much-improved graphics from its predecessor, TEKKEN 7 (that launched over 10 years ago, my god!). The trailer features an action-packed bout between Kazuya and Jin, the two centerpieces of the current franchise. The trailer is beautiful and linked below:

**

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: TEARS OF THE KINGDOM

            Finally! The sequel to The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild received an official title card and logo! Despite a series of delays that made many question if this game was really coming out, it appears the fate of Hyrule will finally be known by the summer of 2023. The trailer was vague on specifics other than a vertical island system that will prove integral to the puzzle mechanics of the world, but a sigh of relief was heard around the internet to finally see some news on the storied franchise.

            Freakin’ finally.

**

GOD OF WAR: RAGNARÖK

            This was my favorite reveal of the day. PlayStation’s most famous god butcher, Kratos, is about to unleash hell on the Nordic gods of Asgard in the sequel to the previous GOD OF WAR. The trailer is fantastic, showing exotic locales interwoven within mythological elements that truly evokes a sense of wonder. I can’t wait to see what’s in store (particularly with that climactic battle teased in the final seconds of the trailer).

            God of War: Ragnarök launches November 11. It cannot come soon enough.

**

            There were many more announcements, but these were the ones I was most excited for. It was a pretty snazzy day for video games, one that hasn’t come for a long time.

            What games are you look forward to? Shout them out in the comments below!

***

  1. “Reality Dreaming” by Strabe
  2. “Okay Okay” by Lights

***

Wishing everyone as well as you can be. You’re not alone out there,

September 14, 2022 0 comments
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| Weekly Post-Eds |

Weekly Post-Ed #21

by Robert Hyma January 4, 2022
written by Robert Hyma

MY PERSONAL RESOLUTION FOR THIS WEBSITE

            When I started this website, I wasn’t sure what it would end up becoming. A year into this endeavor and I’m still not sure, to be honest. I think this is a good sign—it means this website is something fluid and capable of evolving. That being said, I think this little corner of the internet could use some sprucing up.

            For this upcoming year, my personal resolution is simple: to be a published author. Technically, I’ve done that by publishing on this website, but I mean something more substantial: a physical, hardcopy of a book, something you can hold in your hands and say, “Hey, I have a book by that guy.”

            This was the goal for this past year, to publish the 11 or so short stories I wrote, and print them onto a small volume. What I did not anticipate was that my short stories are rather short in length, and so the compiled length of all the collected short stories was little more than 50 pages. Instead of a volume of short stories, it felt more a thick pamphlet, which, if I’m reading the look on your face correctly, is kind of a letdown.

            That’s why for this upcoming year I’m sticking to a strict publishing schedule on this website to better fill out a first collected volume of short stories. By the end of 2022, something meatier and meaningful will be printed off that’s worth holding onto. And if it means nothing more than a token of vanity, at least a hardcopy of a book appears to look like the real work of a serious writer.

            So, the schedule for this year will look like this:

– Starting January 16, a short story will be posted every 2 weeks. That makes for a total of 26 short stories throughout the year with the goal of compiling what I’ve written into a printed/eBook edition.

– Starting today, January 4 (or every Tuesday), there will be a Weekly Post-Ed each week for a total of 52 entries.

– There are some other projects in the works, but those are all TBD at this time. More details when things are closer to being finalized.

            So, that’s it. This website is going to continue to grow and I’m curious to see where it goes. I started all of this to see if anything interesting might happen from posting short stories, and what I found over the past year is how much I enjoyed writing something and posting it online as a finished product. I’m determined to do even better this year and I hope you’ll continue to come back and see where all of this is heading!

***

NEW YEAR, NEW LOOK

            For the new year, I thought more thematically. Ever since the launch of the James Webb Telescope (a SUCCESSFUL launch, if you didn’t know), I’ve thought about space and of the vastness beyond the problems of home. That’s what I do when I feel the world encroaching in—I look up to the night sky and find constellations and I think about how many light years away those stars are—each one with its own solar system, array of planets and celestial bodies, and the problems outside my front door seem small in comparison.

            With the launch of the James Webb Telescope, we’re bound to see and discover things we never knew possible in the universe. It’s with that energy and inspiration that I thought of the Mario Galaxy series, games that embody the joy of the cosmos within the candy coating only a Nintendo Mario title can. The logo is inspired by Mario Galaxy 2, while the background images were inspired by the deluxe soundtrack that came with copies of the original Wii games launched back in 2007.

            It’s a time for discovery, don’t you think?

            You can check out the artwork created for the website below:

***

  1. “Panic Attack” by Mating Ritual
  2. “Young & Wild” by the Strumbellas
  3. “Stay (feat Your Smith)” by Flight Facilities

Hoping everyone is as well as they can be. You’re not alone out there,

January 4, 2022 1 comment
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