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| Weekly Post-Eds |

WP#76: The Mysterious Case of the Embittered Speedrun Critic

by Robert Hyma July 13, 2024
written by Robert Hyma
Weekly Post-Ed #76 featured image. A font drawn to look wooden logs, over a flat background of pine trees, mountains, and a night sky with stars.

TEN YEARS A VIEWER…

This was my tenth year watching the charity marathon Summer Games Done Quick. The novelty of watching speedrunners is like watching magic for the first time. “You can beat Super Mario Bros. how fast??”

And behold the wizardry of a speedrunner with a NES controller, the run button pressed the entire duration of the game as Mario avoids death pits and chomping piranha plants sprouting from pipes with precision jumps. In the span of a healthy bathroom break, what seemed an impossible game to beat in childhood concludes with King Bowser falling into a lava pit as “Time!” is called.

It’s a staple to watch each year, and I do so out of a childhood love of all things video games and donating to great charities…but I admit that I feel more and more disconnected from the event after each year. What began as a cleared schedule to watch an entire week’s worth of gamers destroy every video game imaginable, I’ve become a bit of an art speedrun snob. I now watch the event an or so at a time, mostly to check out new games that have just released (like the recent Elden Ring DLC) or new speedruns that have yet to debut at the event (like the optimized Super Mario RPG Remake speedrun).

As for the games I found less than enticing to tune in for, I was surprisingly condescending before turning my attention elsewhere:

“Another Super Metroid race? Psht, didn’t they have that last year?”

“OOT again? Well, who’s the featured runner? Ugh, don’t care…”

“Another speedrunner with a couch of commentators spewing pessimism and sarcasm in place of actual humor or interesting commentary? Kill me.”

Meanwhile, I’m consciously aware of the incredible skill required to play these games at such high levels. Learning a speedrun, especially the kinds that are heavy with technical tricks and frame perfect button inputs, takes hundred and thousands of hours to master. The act of beating these games in front of tens of thousands of viewers is objectively impressive. 

So, why was the magic of speedrunning suddenly not enough? Why place the added criticism for a run to be new, technically impressive, AND entertaining to be worth my time?

That’s when I considered every other area of my life that has been upsold to be even “better”.

***

IYKYK

Is it enough to buy a computer? Or, should it be the best computer with the latest chipset and processor and screen?

What about art? Is it enough to be satisfied with the act of making something, or should we constantly compare ourselves, and settle for nothing less than worldwide fame?

What about romantic relationships? Should we settle for the person we’re currently seeing, or is there someone else out there who is even better?

In each scenario, there’s a perceived upsell in value: Having a better version of something—really, anything—must mean it is more valuable/meaningful/beautiful/worthwhile.

Except, what is the criteria for better?

When buying a computer, are the best specs really necessary? I was at the Apple Store recently and asked a Genius worker what the difference in performance was between the M3 Pro and M3 Max chipset in MacBook Pros. If you’ve read that last sentence and are already lost, then you understand the futility of shopping for the best of the best. As the Apple Genius said, “If you’re asking about the difference between the Pro and the Max, you probably don’t need the Max. If you know, then you know.”

Does fame help with making art? Never mind the debate about what constitutes good versus bad art, does volume and accolades really help? I’d argue it doesn’t outside of exposure. Fame is recognition from the outer world, whereas art is an investigation of the inner world. The only crossover is how the outer world impacts the inner world, which is the only impact fame makes when making more art (Again: IFYKYK).

As for relationships, I don’t think there’s a crisis of dubious or manipulative partners out there. No one enters into a romantic relationship with ulterior motives to use and discard someone—they just want something that works for them. The pitfalls of modern dating, in short summation, are in imagining a narrative in which our wants and needs can be theoretically met better by other people. 

In each scenario, we create a story in which we need the better person/inspiration/product. When I think of upselling, I think of skeevy salespeople trying to work a better deal from a customer. However, it’s worth remembering that the skeeviest salesman is, often, ourselves.

So, really: IYKYK.

***

SELF-CORRECTING CRITICISM

The comedian Neal Brennan has a fantastic joke in his Netflix special Crazy Good. He says: 

“In your 20s you’re going to realize you have emotional problems. And then in your 30s you’re going to be like, ‘I’m going to solve my emotional problems.’ And then in your 40s you’re going to be like, ‘It’s a shame I never did solve those emotional problems.’”

I forgot to mention much of my behaving like a critic towards SGDQ 2024 was only at the start of the charity marathon. By the end of the final night, Summer Games Done Quick felt like the Closing Ceremonies of the Olympic Games, comprised of every conceivable walk of life gathered together in celebration. And I was watching with full support.

What changed mind? A memory from watching SGDQ for the first time all those years ago.

I showed a friend a few highlights from the event. My friend is a gamer, too, and we grew up playing Mario and Donkey Kong and all the classics, so I thought his jaw would drop just as mine did after witnessing a speedrun. But after watching Super Mario. Bros. bested in under 10 minutes (a primitive version of the video above) my friend said, “What a waste to spend your life learning a useless skill. No one is going to care that you can beat Mario so fast.”

I was stunned. My friend loved video games; where was this criticism coming from? All these years later, I get it: His inner salesperson made an upsell: “There’s a better way of living life.”

What’s astounding about my friend’s response is the irony: Of course there was value in speedrunning video games; why else would I show him the video if there was none? Clearly, it has worth sharing.

And that’s the real magic trick with anything worth pursuing: True value comes from what is shared with others.

  • The computer is meaningless until we form a relationship with it; that’s why it’s difficult to trade in or throw away a product we’ve used for years (like selling an old car).
  • The artist isn’t successful because of the art—value emerges through the relationship with an audience.
  • Romantic partners are difficult to replace for numerous reasons, but the meaning of the ones we are with exist because of the moments and memories we’ve made with them.

“What’s the point in learning a useless skill?” 

Nothing—only the pleasure gleaned from practicing the skill and the connection it brings to others.

By the finale speedrun of SGDQ 2024, it was impossible to ignore how vast and powerful this community has become when coming together under a common cause. The event has become a sort of gameshow: donation incentives are all about adding content and hours to the event itself, resulting in FOMO—no one wants to miss out on the hot commodity runs gatekept behind high dollar amounts. And this is a good thing! It’s exciting to watch the status bars of added games hit 100% and the cathartic cheer of the live audience cheering, like high schoolers in a gymnasium, “Let’s go Twitch Chat! Let’s go Twitch Chat!”

And by the end of the event, one cannot help but want to be a part of it, too. Even from afar.

Maybe that’s why the marathon raises upwards of 2 million dollars per event. It’s a monetary measurement of togetherness.

***

A banner with a title: Spotify Weekly Finds.
  1. “The Hopeful Kind” by Spuddy
  2. “Every Other Night” by Peter Bjorn and John
  3. “Drastic Measures” by Bayonne

***

Wishing everyone as well as you can be. You’re not alone out there,

The signature and website logo of Roberthymawrites.com that includes a calligraphic "R" following by a signature.
July 13, 2024 0 comments
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| Weekly Post-Eds |

Weekly Post-Ed #64

by Robert Hyma February 28, 2024
written by Robert Hyma

REBIRTH

Courtesy of SQUARE ENIX

At midnight tonight, one of the greatest games of all time will release on PS5, FINAL FANTASY VII: REBIRTH. I’ve had this date circled on my calendar for an entire year, which is amazing because I do not use calendars—I bought one just to circle this specific date. In fact, I’ve marked many calendars of unsuspecting college students on campus, which would have been great insider marketing for SQUARE ENIX, the game’s developer, if only I had been more specific.

“It’s almost here!”

“Rebirth!”

“You’re not doing anything else today!”

In hindsight, I could have been more specific. It looks like I was either advertising the apocalypse or an upcoming baby shower. Specificity, it turns out, is important.

In celebration of FINAL FANTASY VII: REBIRTH launching tonight, the website has been designed with the updated meteor logo to celebrate. In the background of each webpage, you’ll find the Lifestream glowing luminescent green, a tribute to the planet’s life blood. I’ll include the full images below to view in all their glory.

There has seldom been a time when I’ve known exactly what the routine of each day will consist of. The next three weeks run like this: Watch the next segment of FFVII: REBIRTH and other stuff. I’m not even sure what would pry me away from devouring this game, so feel free to leave a comment about what has been happening in the world should it be so important—Like discovering aliens have casually lived on the dark side of the moon all along but have just run out of light bulbs. 

If I catch wind of anything, I’ll have my suspicions of who was behind it all anyway—and it will be sung in chorus glory:

“Sephiroth!”

***

TIM FERRISS AND DATING

The video above is of Tim Ferriss. The premise, if you haven’t watched his YouTube channel before, is to embark on a task and figure out the most optimal means of achieving it. Whether its mastering job interview skills, perfecting a golf swing quickly, or starting a small business, Tim’s videos demonstrate that perseverance and creativity are the difference in achieving any task even in the face of inevitable rejection.

Including dating, apparently.

In the video above, Tim does something fascinating: He employs three experts to help in the major markets for dating. I’ll keep this summary brief. His experiments included optimizing online dating profiles with the help of a computer programmer to gather statistics for the most swipeable profile. Next, he hired the coaching of famous New York Times dating expert and journalist Neill Strauss to learn how to cold approach women in public. Finally, he hired a matchmaker with an extensive client list in order to be matched from an extensive personality survey.

In short, these are the three main methods of attracting dates.

With each method, Tim stumbles his way into procuring three dates that are all to meet at a cocktail party at a swanky San Francisco bar, along with a plethora of friends and cameras roaming around.

What was most useful about watching Tim was observing the nature of dating apps and cold approaching women in public. Tim learned much about algorithms with online dating: What yields the greatest results in terms of demographics, what keywords are the most condusive for matches, and what photos are most effective (Hint for men: shirtless and with a pet seem to do the trick). Ultimately, he concludes that online dating can be finicky even with these metrics and suggests the nature of it is High volume, low Results.

In my dating life, this has proven true as well.

Next came cold approaching. His undercover coach, Neil Strauss, is famous for his book on dating gamesmanship called The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, but his small hints about intentionality and confidence when approaching women were strikingly simple and effective: Don’t linger, hesitating borders on creepy, just approach, and start with something conceptual and light to get the conversation started:

“Should I buy a small or a medium if I don’t know my sister-in-law’s shirt size?”

It’s a foot in the door and, as Tim asserts, more informative than an online dating service since meeting IRL offers a glimpse into personality: chemistry, smell, sound of voice, signs of kindness, creativity, charm, etc. 

The matchmaker system proved to be the most sterile of the three approaches, essentially giving 100% control to someone’s reputation. However, matchmakers have a lucrative business for a reason and the service tends to work out (otherwise why would this person be in business?).

With three dates in tow, Tim invited them all to a special cocktail party.

This is where the video trailed into odd territory: All three dates were invited to the same party and invariably met one another. 

Has this ever happened on a date of yours? 

Of course not; no one dates by volume in one go. A few years ago, I had a joint job interview with two other candidates. We all felt the same as the dates in Tim’s video: We knew there must be other dates, but we really didn’t need to meet them in person.

To Tim’s credit, it was a packed cocktail party where other dates were “available”, but how strange to be invited on a date and offered a crowd of alternative mates in case the two of you don’t hit it off.

Insensitive isn’t quite the word for the ending of the video. Unrealistic, maybe. Dating, from my experience, is much more intentional. While it is easy to drown in the gratification of numbers of matches and discussions that lead nowhere on dating apps, once a date is planned, there’s a shift in atmosphere—there’s an honest attempt to feel each other out.

In all, I learned much from the section on cold approaching. I like that it acts as a sampler date. Plus, it’s become more of social stigma to approach someone and open up to discussion, which isn’t so much a symptom online dating taking over, but of isolation that generally keeps human beings from connecting with strangers today.

As far as dating goes, Tim concludes rightly that it is worth utilizing whatever resources are available to try for dates. There are pros and cons to each platform, of course. My view with dating is to simply be intentional. Know what you want, value yourself and your standards, and be genuinely interested in learning about other people. What’s hotter than a genuine listener? 

As for Tim’s dates, it’s hard to imagine there were any more dates scheduled after the cocktail party. I felt bad for his dates, which might be the wider/unintentional message of the video: Even with guys like Tim, dating sucks.

If there was a lesson to glean, it was this: If there’s a camera crew at the cocktail party of your date and they are filming all your exchanges, this likely isn’t the man for you.

Good luck Tim, on your next date.

***

A BIT OF A CONUNDRUM

It’s difficult to write when all that is going into a writer’s mind is one subject. Right now, I’m writing a 25-page thesis paper that has me reading peer reviewed sources from academic journals, books by academics, and a slew of interviews and other secondary sources for my final semester in college.

In short: I’ve been struggling to come up with things to write about since, honestly, I’ve been programming myself to think about one subject. And while I could write about the process of writing a thesis, putting it all together has proven difficult to get outdoors and experience anything worth writing about.

So, I’ll put it to you: Would any of you wish to read about my thesis and the process of getting it written?

I’ll leave it up to all of you. I’ll keep my findings light and breezy, but anticipate more of that material bleeds into Weekly Post-Eds.

At least for the next 2 months.

Let me know in the comments below. Otherwise, I’ll do my best to lift my gaze from the blaring computer monitor and see something else happening in the world that isn’t related to endless research and academic writing.

Even your comments would be a breath of fresh air at this point.

***

Along with FINAL FANTASY VII: REBIRTH, the music from its predecessor is some of the best video game music ever made. Click on the album art below and listen to some of the greatest orchestra music ever made.

Courtesy of Spotify

***

Wishing everyone as well as you can be. You’re not alone out there. Happy FFVII: REBIRTH launch!

February 28, 2024 0 comments
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