TEN THINGS
This week’s entry marks an entire year’s worth of Weekly Post-Eds. It’s quite the milestone. To commemorate the 52nd entry, I made a list of things I learned whilst writing them. Without further ado, here’s 10 Things I Learned Writing Weekly Post-Eds.
1. I’m Not Sure I Learned Anything at All.
It’s true. When thinking about this list, my first thought: what was it that I was supposed to have learned with all of this? The process for writing Weekly Post-Eds is the same as it has ever been: Frantically jotting down whatever smorgasbord of stuff I could think of and cut what isn’t working. That’s about it. I’m sure there was something meaningful or poignant I was supposed to learn throughout this process, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. Which leads me to the second item on this list:
2. [LEAVE THIS SPACE BLANK FOR SOMETHING MEANINGFUL]
I’m sure that meaningful lesson will occur to me at some point. I’ll reserve this space for when I think of it.
Oh: maybe something about sex comment bots?
3. Failure Leads to Somewhere
This is more in line with my belief that writing is the only pure form of magic out there, but despite weeks where it appeared there wasn’t anything to write about, merely sitting down to write something led to Weekly Post-Eds getting written. It was oftentimes awful material, and painful to write, but something always appeared on the page despite the critic in my head lambasting the quality of the words.
If you’re failing, remember: At least failure gets you somewhere else.
You may still be failing, but at least you’re in a new spot to do so. I always enjoyed the change of scenery.
4. Never Make Promises You Can’t Keep
I’m a great planner, not so much a doer. So, when one is confronted with the prospect of writing creatively on a personal website in order to entertain, one wants to dream about all that it can ever be. Projects are conceived, and the end result of finally showing them to the world was addictive to think about.
You know, sans the actual hard work to complete said projects.
Long story short: I often announced projects that weren’t close to being finished without following through. Half-finished essays promised within a week’s time, and entire ideas for projects (such as a series chronicling all my online dating adventures) never materialized. Of course I wanted to come through on projects and bigger ideas; I just tripped over bad habits at every turn: Procrastination, rationalizing myself out of any responsibility to readers, even if their numbers were so few.
A favorite rationalization was this: ” Hardly anyone comes to the website anyways,” which meant the few readers I had would leave with relatively little fuss, or, as it did happen, never say anything. This was a pleasant defense mechanism…until I realized how I was treating anyone who happened upon my website. It was a huge punch to the face of anyone visiting in hindsight.
It turns out the solution to all of this is not to make promises you can’t keep. So, until things are ready, my lips are sealed.
Either that or I hire someone with a very critical stare to guilt me into working harder.
Nah.
5. Writing About Personal Stories Was the Most Enjoyable
In this quest to stand out from other writers on the internet, I struggled to come up with what differentiated my writings. I found that writing about personal stories was the closest I’d get to solving the riddle. Not only did I enjoy telling embarrassing stories about myself and sharing them with whomever might read them, but strange things happened frequently in my daily life and were easiest to write about. I had a constant stream of oddball memories and strange encounters during my weeks, of which there is still more to unpack. I’m excited to keep writing about more episodes from my past in the future.
You should definitely come back for that. It’s going to be a great time.
(Unless I just broke Number 4 from this list and promised something I won’t adhere to…)
Nah.
6. Comment Bots Are Aggressively Sexual
Most of the comments I received and moderate on this website are from bots, sadly. As far as the internet underbelly is concerned, I’m inexperienced in recognizing all the different types of phishing schemes out there. However, I’m amazed by this wave of bot comments that are overtly sexual towards content creators. Are comments such as, “I want you come over and f*** me, right now!” supposed to warrant some kind of desperate reaction to click on a link?
Secretly, I was flattered that anything I wrote evoked any sexual reaction, even if from a bot consisting of a few lines of code. If you can pique the sexual interest of some defunct phishing program, you know that you’ve made in your heart of hearts.
7. Don’t Come Up With Large Numbered Lists When You Don’t Have The Material Yet
This lesson occurred to me while making this list. Sorry, it’s a fresh one.
This is more of a lesson for me, not you.
Anyway, what else…
8. Try Not to Write About People in a Way You Can’t Defend
On a few occasions, I wrote about real people in my life. It was likely a story or conversation that later I embellished (creative license, they used to call it), or portrayed them unflatteringly. In each case, I heard back from someone specific who was not pleased with what I had written.
And I felt awful: Not because I didn’t like what I wrote, but because I used their words or actions for entertainment’s sake.
If someone enjoys what is written about them, it’s easier to dip into the well of real-life experiences without thinking twice–they liked it, all is well. However, when you receive negative feedback or that this person was embarrassed, it hurts as a writer. The point is to entertain, to use the guise of someone in order to reveal something greater than the sum of its parts. Sometimes, you can’t help but write in a negative light, no matter what the intention.
I’ve since learned to weigh seriously if I should write about someone who is bound to read about themselves.
I’ve considered complete strangers, too. But they often say very little about my having written about them.
9. Don’t Be Afraid to Change Your Mind
Along with the previous item on this list, there were times when I wrote about something from my week and I realized I no longer agreed with my take a few days later. At the beginning of writing Weekly Post-Eds, I’d struggle with deleting sections because it was difficult to think up replacement material. I’ve found that it’s more important to evolve with your ideas than stick to what was safer to write about.
People change, so should your writing and ideas about life. It’s a sign of being sane…to a degree, anyways.
10. Was Any of This Worth It?
Without specific numbers, this website is relatively niche and unknown. After 2.5 years of attempting to write content and garnerng a handful of loyal readers over that span (my mother included: She’ll be reading this later; she’s my favorite of my readers), I’ve often questioned why I did any of this. Was the point to become a successful commercial writer? Was the intention to make a name for myself in the freelance industry, or to write stories and build a small Patreon community to pay for my writingly lifestyle? Over the course of 2.5 years, I’ve considered all kinds of solutions to these problems: Either step up my social media/marketing game, produce a hell of lot more content, or bust.
And yet, each time I’ve thought about this path, I sink back in my chair, and retch inside. There’s something about this model to “internet success” that is inherently against why I made all of this to begin with.
I’m not here to push my prodigious writings or become famous (my god, I could care less about that). I’m here to chronicle what my life is like, a living journal/record in the wrapping paper of a guy who likes to make snazzy graphics to go along with the writing.
That’s. About. It.
And maybe stumble across something profound from time to time.
To really know if any of this was worth it, you’ll have to answer for yourself. Perhaps in the comments below.
And when I later read, “I want you to come over and f*** me, right now”, from a fresh batch of sex bot spam in my comments inbox, I’ll know it was all worthwhile.
I like to keep my readers titillated. Even the fake ones.
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- “Rose Colored Glasses” by The Collection
- “Never Been Better (feat. Orla Gartland)” by Half-Alive
- “Dressed to Kill” by The Wombats
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Wishing everyone as well as you can be. You’re not alone out there,
